My last year in Congress

“Money for Nothing and Chicks for Free” Republicans could be in “Dire Straits” if better candidates don’t come forward.

This week, as we witnessed the implosion of yet one more Republican candidate for President (Cain), and wait for the likely implosion of another (Gingrich), the rock anthem “Money for Nothing” keeps going through my head.  This song from the 1980s band Dire Straits tells the tale of a poor working stiff who laments his hard working life, while members of bands he listens to earn millions of dollars and always score with the ladies for “nothing but playing around.” 

Similarly, Republicans have to be frustrated as they continue to be stiffed when each of their frontrunners collapse in succession from basic incompetence (Michelle, Rick, Herman) or charges of philandering.  In Cain’s case, he suffers from both maladies. Newt -- the new flavor of the month -- is at least competent, but he suffers from the trifecta of afflictions: money, women, and arrogance.  The question one has to ask is, were they ever serious candidates (Sarah, Donald, Herman, Newt), or are they just on a “money for nothing” self-promotion tour? 

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I give Newt less than three weeks in the frontrunner meat grinder before folks remember he was so disliked across the American political spectrum that he resigned rather than wait to be thrown overboard by his own sailors.  Before resigning, Newt was fined $300,000 and rebuked by Congress for ethics violations.  Memories are short, but it’s all well documented, and soon it will be on every TV.  This time when he implodes, Newt will get to go back to collecting $60,000 per speech as a private citizen.  Talk about money for nothing! 

So where do thoughtful Republicans go from here? Clearly Mitt can’t break free from the “liberal flip-flopper” anchor that is weighing him down.   Mitt, they just don’t trust you, buddy!  Michelle is so busy trying to close our Iranian Embassy (the one that has not existed since 1979), she has no chance.  Perry was not smart enough to be Texas Agriculture Commissioner, let alone Governor, and surely not President.  Ron Paul is a serious guy, but is as ideological as Goldwater and would “rather be right than win.”

Nature abhors a vacuum, and the rules of physics apply to politics as well.  I always thought the one guy who could still win the hearts and minds of the Republican base and the general election is Congressman Mike Pence of Indiana.  I never understood why Mike got out of the fray.  He is intelligent, articulate, a capable legislator, and no one can argue that he is not conservative enough.  He may not be able to get back on the ballot in every state at this late date, but would it not be worth a try?

As a Democrat, it’s really not my business to be concerned if the Republicans nominate one of the class clowns who are still in the field.  However, as an American Citizen, I am concerned that lightning might strike and one of them just might win.  Then we would all be in Dire Straits!


Next week’s topic…. The President who would prefer to be a professor.