The Night Before Christmas (Rep. Edward Markey)

‘Twas two weeks before Christmas, when all through the house
Mothers and fathers were starting to grouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
With hopes that safe products would soon be stuffed there

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Wishing for toys that did not contain lead.

And Ma had just disappointed the tots
When she had to throw out their new Aquadots

Then out at the CPSC there arose such a clatter,
The House and the Senate asked what was the matter.

We had several hearings with the Chairman, Nancy Nord
Her answers left us, frankly, quite floored.

She didn’t want money, she didn’t need staff
Her protestations, in short, made us laugh

Then, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But a CPSC bill for Congress to clear

This bill has good points, on that we agree
It adds needed money and new F.T.E’s

It makes sure that kids’ toys will not contain lead
It helps to ensure they are tested instead

Test Barbie! Diego! And poisonous Thomas!
Mattel, Hasbro and Disney! You all must now promise

To test your new products! Be sure to comply!
Get toys off store shelves when things go awry!

This morning we meet as the lobbyists try
To convince all the Members NOT to vote “aye