The tidal wave of submissions for this year’s 50 Most Beautiful list is fast and furious, and some are hilarious to boot. Although we’re keeping our promise to keep your nominations anonymous, check out some of the 50 Most Beautiful nominations that had us cracking up:

“[The nominee] enjoys long walks on the beach, deep conversation, holding hands, romance novels, pruning his tomato plants, and getting lost in an airport Brookstone. He is also very safety oriented and brushes his teeth at least twice a day, sometime three if he has popcorn. For some mysterious reason whenever he walks into a room Aloe Blacc’s The Man magically comes on. Finally his spirit animal is a teacup pig and he would love nothing more than to be a member of The Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful.”

“Her past will intrigue you, her future will inspire, and the present will just make you exhausted. She’ll sell papers. Not literally, although she would be good at that too.”

“He’s a great, fun guy. And I’d love to see this help him out with the ladies. He’s single!”

“I’ve always had a crush on this girl but I don’t have the balls to ask her out. Anyway, she’s worth consideration.” 

“I have been lobbying for legitimately good causes (babies and seniors: ‘twinkle to wrinkle’) as opposed to what other LOBBYISTS might consider ‘good causes.’ ”

“[The nominee is a] tall, dark and handsome conservative who loves to talk to anyone who will listen. Literally, anyone. We’re almost certain he argues about politics in his sleep.”

“Single, white, male seeks temporary home on The Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful list. He enjoys drinking whiskey, playing tennis and traveling — not necessarily at the same time or in that order.”


Keep your nominations (amusing or not) coming! Lawmakers, congressional staffers, executive branch employees, members of the media, lobbyists and anyone else who regularly works on Capitol Hill is eligible for the 2014 list. 

Send your nominations to Be sure to include the person’s name, place of employment, contact information and a photo. And entertaining us doesn’t hurt either.