altFinally, T-Paw’s on top!

Tim Pawlenty just earned the No. 1 spot in a new list from GQ magazine. But we have a feeling the ex-GOP presidential candidate won’t be buying up copies of the mag at the supermarket to celebrate his victory.

That’s because GQ just laid the proverbial smackdown on the former Minnesota governor. It’s given Pawlenty the dubious distinction of being at the head of the class in a list dubbed “The 25 Least Influential People Alive.” Ouch.

If you think the name of the list itself may sound harsh, wait until you read GQ’s explanation of why it chose the one-time White House hopeful as the leader of the influence losers. The mag writes that Pawlenty “spent much of 2011 as a six-foot-tall paperweight, an aggressively forgettable fellow perfectly suited to the role of debate filler.”

And then GQ goes in for the sucker punch: “The $1 million he spent to lose the Iowa straw poll might as well have been burned front of a group of orphans.” Pawlenty dropped out of the presidential race in August. 

But before T-Paw becomes T-Pawthetic, it should be noted that the magazine reserves even more criticism in its humor section for other politicians and talking heads in its seemingly very unscientific list of least influential.

Others notables in the list include: left-leaning MSNBC host Ed Schultz, Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio) (the glossy says of the House Speaker that he “always looks like someone made him stay at work much longer than he wanted to,”), former Republican governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger, Marcus Bachmann (husband of Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), and President Obama (who GQ contends “wields all the power of a substitute teacher at night school.”)