3 a.m. Nightmares

I keep having dreams about that political ad:

It's 3 a.m. at the White House. The phone rings. But no one answers.

President Hillary Clinton is up Pennsylvania Avenue at the Hawk ‘n’ Dove, a neighborhood bar, throwing back shots and beers.

She's hammered.

A Tammy Wynette song she never liked is playing on the jukebox. Her Secret Service designated driver stands close by as POTUS mumbles her latest war story about avoiding sniper fire as she landed at Camp David.

She's a little annoyed. Vice President Barack Obama was supposed to meet her here, but he never came. She shouldn't be surprised. He never could find this place, at least not since the Pennsylvania primary.

Sen. John McCain is also a no-show, which is really a disappointment, since he used to drink at this bar every night back when he was at the Naval Academy.

The only time he comes now is when he's hangin' out with his reporter buddies.

Finally, it's closing time. The president sings "One for My Baby and One More for the Road” before she staggers to her motorcade.

Tomorrow is a busy day. She has to go over a speech by her husband, Bill, to make sure he doesn't say something that will embarrass her again.

Meanwhile, back at the White House, the phone rings and rings.

Maybe from now on, they should just forward the calls at 3 a.m. to that bar ...


I've gotta talk to my therapist about these dreams.

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