ABC News has a headline today that you might think was written by the comedic geniuses at The Onion: “Sex Ed for Kindergarteners 'Right Thing to Do,' Says Obama.”

The lede paragraph reads, “Sen. Barack ObamaBarack ObamaOvernight Cybersecurity: Trump tweetstorm on Russia probe | White House reportedly pushing to weaken sanctions bill | Podesta to testify before House Intel OPINION: Trump’s bluff: Perfectly legal Overnight Regulation: Senate Banking panel huddles with regulators on bank relief | FCC proposes 2M fine on robocaller | Yellowstone grizzly loses endangered protection MORE, D-Ill., told Planned Parenthood Tuesday that sex education for kindergarteners, as long as it is ‘age-appropriate,’ is ‘the right thing to do.’”

Age-appropriate sex ed for a 6-year-old? I’m (almost) speechless.

Here’s how a conversation with most kindergartners goes:

Where’d that baby come from? (Translation: What the hell is that other kid doing here and when is it going to leave?)
Babies come from mommies and daddies.

Why?
Because they love each other.

Why?
Because they respect one another and connect on a deep and spiritual level.

Why?
Because they share the same values. Well, except for Mary Matalin and James Carville.

Why?
Good question.