The Anti-Bush Debate

Think about this. You are George Bush, you are in Europe, you have jet lag, you are having trouble sleeping. You wake up and turn on the television in the middle of the night and watch the Republican debate on CNN.

What a shock. All 10 of these country-club Republicans, nice elderly white males, are turning their howitzers on you. They are killing you on immigration, they are killing you on earmarks and profligate spending, they are killing you on running as a conservative and governing as some wild-eyed liberal. They are accusing you of mismanagement of Iraq, lack of leadership, and ruining the country.


Wait a minute. Am I dreaming? Is this the Democratic debate being replayed? They are all quoting Ronald Reagan again — it must be the Republicans. Remember their first debate, when they mentioned Reagan 19 times and Bush once? As Reagan used to say, “There you go again!”


And you are George Bush and you’re thinking, “I have to listen to a year and a half of this.”


If you are Bush, you are thinking maybe you should just stay in Prague somewhere and wait out this election. After all, the man who drives you absolutely bonkers is John McCain, and he is the best friend you have in the world right now. How can this be?


Well, you say, as you turn out the light and take a sleeping pill, there’s always re-runs of “Law & Order” — Fred Thompson, maybe he will come to your defense. You can always dream.