Fifty Ways to Steal an Election

The problem is all inside your head, Al said to Reid
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be filibuster-free
There must be 50 ways to steal an election

Al said it really is my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be 50 ways to steal an election
Fifty ways to steal an election


Just double-count the right ballots, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just steal them for me.

Make a big Rush, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Don’t count the absentees, Lee
Just lose them for me.

Reid said it grieves me to see Coleman in such pain
I wish he would do the right thing, quit and give in
Al said I appreciate that and would please explain
About the 50 ways

Reid said why don’t we just have the Senate vote on it tonight,
And in the morning, the Republicans will begin to see the light
But then McConnell said well that just ain’t right
There can’t be 50 ways to steal an election
Fifty ways to steal an election

Just double-count the right ballots, Jack.
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just steal them for me.

Make a big Rush, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Don’t count the absentees, Lee
Just lose them for me.




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