For those attempting to keep the rich and powerful in line, it will be like herding fat cats, but at least the record will be set straight. The conservatives on the high court prevailed with the ruling that these artificial restrictions on campaign finance violated the Oligarchs' First Amendment Free Speech rights.
Never mind the argument it was really their Bought-and-Paid-For rights. The long, long debate is over. So it’s time to contemplate the commercials the different companies will create so they can sell the gullible voters the same way they do when they hustle their products.
Can you see the spots now? Geico cavemen will endorse those whose policies harken back to the Stone Age.
Auto manufacturers can join with the oil, gas and power companies and recruit T. Boone Pickens to do ads for those who oppose action on Global warming ... maybe as he stands on the familiar deck of his Swift Boat.
Investment houses and bankers can make their televised pitches for the candidates who will resist any efforts to regulate their industries. They may decide, however, that they don't need to spend the money because they already have been able to get their people into all the key government positions, no matter which party is in power.
And surely the pharmaceutical companies will want to join the fun:
The spot opens showing a deeply saddened individual, sitting in the corner of a room facing a stack of bills. In the background his distressed family silently looks at him with great concern.
Announcer voiceover: DEPRESSION IS SUCH AN OVERWHELMING CONDITION. WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF ONE NOW. WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THOSE FEELINGS OF DESPERATION AND GRIEF? WHO CAN WE TURN TO?
Switch to shot of candidate before a cheering crowd
Announcer voicover: WELL, CHEER UP!! JOE FLIBEETZ, YOUR CANDIDATE FOR UNITED STATES SENATE, HAS THE ANSWER. NO MORE GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE , NO MORE SAFETY REGULATIONS AND OTHER RESTRICTIONS ON YOUR ACCESS TO DRUGS. NO MORE EFFORTS TO CHANGE THE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM, OR PASS LAWS THAT REGULATE THE FINANCIAL INDUSTRY. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. EVERYONE CAN!
Next, we see a shot of the no-longer-sad guy, in a crowd, shaking hands with candidate Flibeetz as he walks by. He turns to the camera:
Formerly sad guy on camera: A VOTE FOR JOE FLIBEETZ IS A VOTE AGAINST DEPRESSION. SUPPORTING HIM MAKES ME, WELL, HAPPY. I'LL BE OK!
Cut to shots of the guy talking and playing with his laughing family.
Announcer: JOE FLIBEETZ IN THE SENATE WILL CAUSE SIDE EFFECTS. FOR MANY THAT WILL INCLUDE LOSS OF APPETITE, NERVOUS TREMORS OR EVEN THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE. THEY WILL PROBABLY LAST WAY MORE THAN FOUR HOURS. BUT KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF. NOBODY WILL BE LEFT TO ASSIST YOU.
Flibeetz on camera: I'M JOE FLIBEETZ AND SOMEBODY ELSE PAID FOR THIS AD. I OWE HIM.
Visit Mr. Franken's website at www.bobfranken.tv.