Coulter: The queen of not-so-mean-after-all

What’s conservative pundit Ann Coulter guilty of these days?

It turns out, little more than authoring her latest anti-Democrat tome, Guilty: Liberal ‘Victims’ and Their Assault on America just in time for the swearing-in of President Obama. Timely as they are, her often-vitriolic thoughts are a continuation of the six other anti-Democrat books she has written, such as If Democrats Had Any Brains They’d be Republicans, and How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must).

But don’t let her outwardly mean demeanor fool you. As she demonstrated to The Hill a few days before the Inauguration, politics aside, she’s extremely polite, friendly and willing to answer anything she’s asked.

I saw you on ABC’s “The View.” It didn’t seem that you made friends with the women. How was the experience?
The most fun a girl can have that doesn’t involve an ice-cold speculum and a paper gown.

Can you rank the women in the order that you like them?
I think all about the same. I couldn’t really tell the difference.

Were you ever in a sorority?
Yes. [Begins to sing] “Delta Gammas do not drink, do not drink.”

Cornell, and it was not like being on “The View.”

Do you think Barbara Walters could make you cry in one of her “20/20” interviews?
No, but I almost think I made her cry.

Why did you write this book, Guilty?
For the little voice in my head that was my publisher, saying, “Where is the next book, where is the next book?” Writing it, I realized I could turn it into the Encyclopedia Britannica and at some point you have to just stop.

Once the crocodile tears of the liberal are pointed out, they will not have the same result.

Where will you be on Inauguration Day?
On the “Dr. Phil” show. I’m going to L.A.

Do you think he can help you through it?
I hope so.

You ever been on his show before?

What do you think of him?
I don’t have any reason not to like him. I don’t watch that much daytime TV and when I do, it’s political.

Which political shows do you watch?
For information or unintentional comedy?

Especially America’s 57-year-old woman in a man’s body, Keith Olbermann, [the new Sean] Hannity [without Alan Colmes] — Keith Richards thought he’d be so much better without Mick — [Bill] O’Reilly when he does serious stuff, Glenn Beck. Oh, I love [the Neil] Cavuto show, which is unusual for me [because] when I have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about [regarding financial issues] they may as well be talking in Greek. I like to see who can be the most persuasive.

Who do you admire most in the world?
Um, living right now, maybe Rush Limbaugh. I know that sounds obvious. He’s like a Ronald Reagan who never ends.

Would you want to date him?
None of your beeswax.

How are you going to stomach the Obama administration?
Well, I’m going to talk to Dr. Phil about it. He may be able to prescribe something. It may be a relief in one respect. The House, Senate and presidency are all in Democrats’ hands. So I don’t have to do any more apologizing, explaining or complaining about my own people, that being Republicans.

Who do you think are the upcoming leaders in the Republican Party?
Rep. Steve King from Iowa. He’s stunning. Of course, [Alaska Gov.] Sarah Palin. Of course, [Louisiana Gov.] Bobby Jindal.

Sarah Palin?
I love her.

Have you met her?
No. I never meet politicians, because then I can’t attack them if necessary. I definitely make a point of trying not to meet politicians.

Do you feel like you’ve been unfairly villanized?
Does anyone ever feel like they’ve been villanized fairly?

Is it an accurate portrayal of who you are? Some people think it’s an act. What do you say?
That’s a silly complaint you can say about anything. I believe everything I say.

What’s the meanest thing a stranger has ever said to you on the street?
Doesn’t happen very much. Contrary to this image that Americans are brewing with rage, most Americans like me, most Americans like Rush Limbaugh, most cameramen and makeup girls to the shows I go on where the host attacks me like me.

Thoughts on same-sex marriage?
I’m against it. Liberals do not understand the point of marriage. The point of marriage is not for society to understand the strong feelings people have for one another. It is to raise children. It’s to harness men’s natural promiscuity and to direct it toward one woman and one set of children.

Views on the bailout?
I’m against it. I don’t think we should be rewarding failure.

I’m going to name some people. Please say the first thing that comes to mind.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.): Airhead.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.): On TV, he’d play the Republican.

Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.): The fact that The New York Times is after him right now makes me think I should support him.

Nancy Grace: Still trying to get to the bottom of the Duke lacrosse case.

Former Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas): A saint.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.): My candidate!

House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio): Never met a smoker I didn’t like.

Barack Obama: Well, there might be one.

Who is your best friend in the world?
My hairdresser.

Who does your hair?
My best friend.

Where did you grow up?
New Canaan, Conn.

Where do your Republican beliefs come from, your parents?
Yes, polished to a blinding rage by meeting liberals.

In your book you talk at length about Democrats being victims. Have you ever been a victim of anything?
In junior high school I was a victim of “combination skin.” Thank heaven that’s over!

Page 2 of your book. Do you really think the Duke lacrosse players are the “true victims” ?
No, I’m sure it’s every man’s dream to be accused of gang-raping a black girl.

What do you do to have fun, relax?

Page 228 of your book, you talk about Bill Clinton. So you really don’t find him sexy?
Anyone who thinks Bill Clinton is sexy should be taking my next cocktail order in a few minutes.

OK, so you did insinuate former Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.) was a “faggot,” saying anyone who uses that word has to go to rehab. What was the purpose of that?
Fine, I’ll tell you: it’s a schoolyard taunt meaning “wuss.” I said it: 1) to call Edwards a name while 2) making fun of the Hollywood “rehab” for being un-PC (Note: This was just after actor Isaiah Washington announced he was going into “rehab” for calling a fellow cast mate a “faggot.”) I said I couldn’t talk about Edwards because apparently you have to go into rehab for using the word “faggot.” At the time, everyone — and I mean everyone, including members of the mainstream media pretending to be “offended” — caught the connection.

To recommend a political personality for 20 Questions, call Betsy Rothstein at (202)628-8516 or e-mail her at