By The Hill Staff - 07/07/09 07:00 PM EDT
In the final 2009 edition of Unplugged, The Hill’s recognition of the creative, bizarre and humorous 50 Most Beautiful People nominations that come in every year, we offer you two poems, a jiu-jitsu reference and the nickname “Sunshine.”
Thanks to everyone who submitted nominations for this year’s 50 Most Beautiful People. Look for the list later this month.
– Capital Living staff
I’d like to nominate [NAME] for the 50 Most Beautiful on the Hill.
This is a guy whose words can kill.
I met him when he was about four.
Back then, he used to trick-or-treat at my door.
Now [NAME] is all grown up and working in Washington, D.C.
Here, he serves as a good friend and trusted adviser to me.
He can frequently be seen advocating for his boss, Congressman [NAME].
And when he does, he’s as dedicated and fierce as a lion.
[NAME]’s smart, funny, and when working with media, sometimes a little sassy.
But one thing’s for sure, he’s always classy.
He’s grown up to be an outstanding young man.
I ask that you put him in your most beautiful section if you can.
He was kind enough to nominate me last year for this wonderful award
This year, I believe it’s time for him to be awarded and so does the Lord.
50 Most Beautiful was made for one special man
He is tall and fit with an amazing tan
His name is [NAME] and he helps puppies every week
Girls swoon at the way he speaks
He is an LC so he gives no tours
He writes to constituents but girls beg for more
On Fridays you can watch him sing
Girls start to flock, by a karaoke machine
This Freddie Prince Jr. [sic] look-alike can really dance
Sarah Michelle Geller [sic] even wishes she could catch a glance
He is quite charming, making everyone smile
To see a nice sight you should watch him file
If he is not chosen it will not be cool
He is super sweet and far from a tool
Look into his eyes and see his sweet gaze
Pick him for Top 50 and he will certainly amaze
I hope it’s not too late, but I’d like to nominate a good friend of mine to be featured in The Hill’s annual 50 Most Beautiful list. His name is [NAME], and he is a Legislative Correspondent for Congressman [NAME].
At a cursory glance, [NAME]’s dashing cherub-like looks seem to steal the spotlight at any given bar or Brazilian jiu-jitsu dojo. Who can resist those intricate chestnut curls, or those green eyes — emerald like the deepest of forest pools? His ability to play to his strengths only enhances his god-given gifts, with a professorial dress code screaming of tweed and thick-rimmed glasses.
However, this [HOMETOWN] native isn’t just a piece of eye candy. Perhaps the Hill’s best kept secret is that Congressman [NAME]’s very own legislative correspondent is the Muhammed Ali [sic] of the vernacular, as the crowned State Champion of [STATE] Debate in 2002. He hasn’t quite lost his touch yet though — he still often engages his peers in fierce debates ranging from the relevancy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in daily life and immortality to the fragrancy of exotic scotches and rums.
Please do not be intimidated if you see this master of the oral and written word on the street, however — his melodious giggle has been likened to the sounds of angels being tickled — something that a Hill staffer should not miss out on in this lifetime.
I am writing to nominate [NAME], Legislative Aide to Congressman [NAME], for The Hill’s Most Beautiful People. The first day I walked into the office, [NAME] greeted me at the door with the most beautiful smile and tan, something that can only be a product of that sweet California sunshine. His nickname in the office is “Sunshine,” just like the gorgeous character from “Remember the Titans.” [NAME] is a chick magnet, attracting girls North and South with his astonishing golden locks and rockin’ bod. Whenever girls walk into the office, [NAME] is always at the front to greet them, and they are immediately enamored by his warm smile and glittering eyes and instantly fall in love with him, although his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend would not be too happy. Thank you for your consideration.