No more monkey business for senators

Sens. Barbara BoxerBarbara BoxerTrump riles Dems with pick for powerful EPA job Pelosi's chief of staff stepping down Time is now to address infrastructure needs MORE (D-Calif.), David VitterDavid VitterYou're fired! Why it's time to ditch the Fed's community banker seat Overnight Energy: Trump set to propose sharp cuts to EPA, energy spending Former La. official tapped as lead offshore drilling regulator MORE (R-La.) and Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn.) are standing up for our genetically similar, hairy friends by introducing the Captive Primate Safety Act. The measure would make it illegal to move monkeys, apes and other non-human primates across state lines in order to sell them.

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The move comes after a pet chimp attacked a woman in Connecticut back in 2009, leaving her with critical injuries.

Michael Markarian, chief operating officer for the Humane Society of the United States, supports the legislation, saying, “Primates belong in the wild, not in our basements and bedrooms.”

Note to Michael Jackson’s estate: Bubbles, you’re toast.