The Hill's 12:30 Report

The Hill's 12:30 Report

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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha-- breaks down crying hysterically.

 

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Senate GOP ignores Trump's healthcare demands | Mooch puns | Pentagon spots 'unusual' North Korean submarine activity | Trump reportedly dictated son's statement on Russia meeting | How Putin is testing Trump | US restaurants' highest calorie entrees

LOOK AT NORTH KOREA, TRYING TO BE RUSSIA AND STUFF: Via CyberScoop, North Korean hackers breached the email accounts of a group of outside advisers for Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign. Did they hack the campaign itself?: No, but they came close. They hacked email accounts of a Washington-based think tank that had ties to the campaign. http://bit.ly/2u0ARgC

AND WHILE WE'RE VENTING ABOUT NORTH KOREA: Via CNN, "the US military has detected 'highly unusual and unprecedented levels' of North Korean submarine activity and evidence of an 'ejection test' in the days following Pyongyang's second intercontinental ballistic missile launch this month." Why this is big: http://cnn.it/2vk72Hj

It's Tuesday -- Happy August! If Trump thought D.C. was a swamp already, just wait for this month. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com@CateMartel and on Facebook.

More resignations mean more #memories. Click this background music before you keep reading --> http://bit.ly/2vjIRbO ;)

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I'M GOING TO TAKE THE OPTIMISTIC MOOCH OPINION HERE -- 'WELL THAT LASTED LONGER THAN A KIM KARDASHIAN MARRIAGE!': Another day, another bombshell -- Anthony Scaramucci's abrupt ouster on Monday capped an extraordinary stretch of turmoil for the White House. Yet some within the president's orbit argued that it was one of those rare Washington events that was simultaneously shocking but unsurprising. http://bit.ly/2vetguz

EVERYONE REALLY STEPPED UP THEIR GAME ON THE PUNS: ...you're stealing my thunder today! ;) 

Bravo, Kate Hudson: The actress posted a photo with the caption "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days." Photo: http://bit.ly/2ug3RMr

The New York Post: "Va-Mooch" http://bit.ly/2whJmR8

The New York Daily News: "Adios, Moochacho" http://bit.ly/2whJmR8

Metro Philadelphia: "Too Mooch, Too Soon" http://bit.ly/2veGYxv

HuffPost Hill: "Mooch carefully studying local Cinnabon manager's hand gestures" http://bit.ly/2uRGCvE

Ouch: Dan Pfeiffer, former senior adviser to President Barack ObamaBarack Hussein ObamaAll five living former presidents to attend hurricane relief concert Overnight Health Care: Schumer calls for tying ObamaCare fix to children's health insurance | Puerto Rico's water woes worsen | Dems plead for nursing home residents' right to sue Interior moves to delay Obama’s methane leak rule MORE on strategy and communications, tweeted: "Unfortunately for the Mooch, the minimum tenure to get invited to the annual WH Comms Directors Reunion is 3 weeks." http://bit.ly/2vpbGVk

Initial reaction from Washington press: "Hearing a lot of 'nooooo,' 'oh my gosh,' 'you're kidding?!?' coming from the Senate press gallery right now." (From The Hill's Jordain Carneyhttp://bit.ly/2uRHIYE

SPOTTED -- at the Trump International Hotel: Scaramucci was seen having dinner at the Trump Hotel in Washington, D.C. Talking to Mooch: Spokespeople for the White House and the Treasury Department. (Via The Daily Beast) http://thebea.st/2uVdvpC

And to cap off the day: President Trump tweeted, "A great day at the White House!" I appreciate the self-awareness. http://bit.ly/2u0urOo

THE NEXT BIG RUSSIA STORY -- HOW DOES ONE USE 'BIGLY' IN ANOTHER PERSON'S VOICE?: Via The Washington Post's Ashley ParkerCarol D. LeonnigPhilip Rucker and Tom HamburgerPresident Trump dictated a misleading statement from his eldest son about his meeting with a Russian lawyer that was ultimately issued to The New York Times by Donald TrumpDonald John TrumpIvanka Trump pens op-ed on kindergartners learning tech Bharara, Yates tamp down expectations Mueller will bring criminal charges Overnight Cybersecurity: Equifax security employee left after breach | Lawmakers float bill to reform warrantless surveillance | Intel leaders keeping collusion probe open MORE JrWhen: On the way back from the Group of 20 summit in Germany. http://wapo.st/2uRpx5b

WE'RE JUST IN THE 'SLIGHTLY CHILLY' WAR STAGE: Via The Hill's Katie Bo Williams, Russian President Vladimir Putin's decision to curtail American staff at diplomatic posts by more than 750 people could herald a frosty turn in Moscow's relations with the United States. Context: This is the harshest diplomatic action since the Cold War. What that means for relations: http://bit.ly/2vjCdmb

HOW SENATE REPUBLICANS ARE HANDLING TRUMP'S HEALTHCARE DEMANDS -- DID YOU HEAR THAT? NOPE *WINK* YOU?: Via The Hill's Jordain Carney, Senate Republicans appear poised to ignore President Trump's demands that they immediately resurrect ObamaCare repeal and abolish the legislative filibuster. Trump's attack tweets: Unless Republicans are "total quitters," Trump tweeted, they will revive their yearslong effort to repeal and replace ObamaCare. While they're at it, Trump wrote, Republicans should get rid of the 60-vote procedural hurdle for legislation, saying they "look like fools and are just wasting time." http://bit.ly/2whZgem

HOW MCCONNELL IS HANDLING THE OBAMACARE LOSS: Well, his job as GOP leader is safe, but he's still facing more questions from fellow Republicans. http://bit.ly/2whXaLu

Paul RyanPaul RyanThe Hill Interview: Budget Chair Black sticks around for now Gun proposal picks up GOP support GOP lawmaker Tim Murphy to retire at end of term MORE ON A HORSE — THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW: House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) called for action on President Trump’s border wall with Mexico, tweeting a video of himself on a horse. It's worth seeing: http://bit.ly/2f5nhli

OOOOH, BURN.: Via The New York Times's Chris Buckley and Austin Ramzy, China's state news agency slammed President Trump after he targeted China on Twitter for not doing more to rein in North Korea. Excerpt: "Emotional venting cannot become a guiding policy for solving the nuclear issue on the peninsula." http://nyti.ms/2uge77n

Trump's tweets that spurred this: "I am very disappointed in China. Our foolish past leaders have allowed them to make hundreds of billions of dollars a year in trade, yet they do NOTHING for us with North Korea, just talk," Trump tweeted over the weekend. "We will no longer allow this to continue. China could easily solve this problem!" http://bit.ly/2ugUzzW

 

NOTABLE TWEETS:

Josh Kraushaar
Just passed [Trump's controversial national security aide] Seb Gorka on the Hill. His license plate is "ART WAR" Photo: http://bit.ly/2vpiX7k

Short List's Alex Finnis (Haha! This headline...)
The Telegraph have officially run out of things to attack millennials for. Screenshot: http://bit.ly/2whJkbI

 

ON TAP:

The Senate is in. The House is going, going, gone.

12:30 p.m. EDT: The Senate breaks for weekly caucus luncheons.

7 p.m. EDT Thursday: President Trump is holding a rally in Huntington, W.Va.

 

WHAT TO WATCH:

2 p.m. EDT: White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders gives an on-camera press briefing. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2vf7fMc

2 p.m. EDT: State Department spokeswoman Heather Nauert briefs reporters. Livestream: http://cs.pn/2ug5fi4

2 p.m. EDT: Senate Republican leaders brief reporters. Livestream: http://cs.pn/2w2thj1

2:15 p.m. EDT: Senate Democratic leaders brief reporters. Livestream: http://cs.pn/2wi9Gut

3 p.m. EDT: President Trump participates in a small business event at the White House. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2vjoTy6

 

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...:

Today is National Raspberry Cream Day.

IN HONOR OF THE MOST PAINFULLY HOT MONTH OF THE YEAR: Via Washingtonian, here are the best ice cream sandwiches in the D.C. area. Get. At. Me. http://bit.ly/2f1zXtz

YUUUUUUM....: The nonprofit Center for Science in the Public Interest released their list of the most caloric restaurant meals. Most of these entrees have 2,000 calories or more. I'm lookin' at you, Carnivore Pizzadilla from Dave & Busters. http://on.today.com/2wi61N6

And because I want to keep you away from your work for a few more seconds, here's a puppy that can actually say the words "thank you." http://dailym.ai/2f4x8YR

 

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