This week, George Clooney said he’s not running for president, which is sooo too bad, since we think that would do wonders for engaging women in the political process. Oprah Winfrey’s lawyers freaked out on a guy who’s trying to draft the Big O as Emoter-In-Chief. And Robin Williams’s new movie features a fictional Jon Stewart-esque comedian who runs for president. All this talk of celebs running for the highest office made us wonder: Who else do voters want on the ballot?

We found a few more celebs who are the subject of draft movements:

Jon Stewart

Qualifications: reader of “fake news”

What supporters say:
“...moderates and independents would likely be drawn to him. Especially if he applies his hatred of the absurd to his political philosophy. I can only imagine a candidate who chose their platform based on logical and sensible conclusions instead of partisan rhetoric, and I doubt I’m the only one.”
http://stupac2.blogspot.com/2006/08/why-jon-stewart-should-run-for.html

Bill Moyers

Qualifications: retired broadcaster, myth master

What supporters say:
“Moyers is the only public figure who can take the entire discussion and shove it toward moral clarity just by being there … He opens minds — he doesn’t scare people. He includes people in, not out. And he sees through the dark search for a temporary political advantage to the clear ground of the Founders. He listens and he respects others.”
www.commondreams.org/views06/0725-34.html

Christopher Walken

Qualifications: actor who once played a cowbell connoisseur

What supporters say:
“If you’re hoping for a new leader with confidence, intelligence, and diverse experience, here he is ... Forget the run-of-the-mill special-interest bureaucrats from Capitol hill and cast your vote for a man who answers to no one but the people. With your help, we can kick-start the Walken campaign before his opponents have their boots on.”
www.walken2008.com

Macgyver

Qualifications: fictional TV character, Swiss Army knife aficionado

What supporters say:
“His solution for Iraq? a roll of toilet paper, a piece of coal and a bit of string. That’s all Macgyver will need for a democratic and free Middle East, Osama Bin Laden? Delivered to Washington smarting from one line quips and red-faced from a beating by a man armed with no more than a piece of chalk and an onion.”
www.specialfarm.net/macgyver2008.html

Wanna know what to pack for that weekend trip to the shore? A hiking jaunt in the Blue Ridge tomorrow? Try asking House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio), who, according to pals, is something of a walking Weather Channel. The Ohio Republican is “sort of a weather junkie,” one tells us, and can usually spout off surprisingly dead-on forecasts for areas all over the country. Maybe he’s trying to find the sunniest place around the country to go golfing over the weekends — a way to enjoy the outdoors while keeping up his perpetual tan.

Not so, according to our informants, who say he regularly watches the Weather Channel to unwind, although news and golf are part of his regular tube-viewing routine, too. Guess the same skills (taking temperatures, reading shifting winds) come in handy in his professional life, too.

 Spotted: FCC’s Martin takes a dip in jury pool

The Senate hasn’t gotten around to confirming him for another term. Maybe that’s why Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Chairman Kevin Martin was spotted trying out for another, slightly less glamorous, gig: jurist. The agency chief was part of a D.C. jury pool this week, our spies say.

Martin kept the agency’s public hearing on Tuesday morning moving in order to get to the courthouse on time. An FCC spokesman confirmed that Martin reported for his civic duty this week.

Elena Schor and Cameron Joseph contributed to this page.

 Feeney website dubs opponent ‘Crazy Clint’ 

Usually an incumbent member will ignore, as much as possible, an upstart challenger he views as marginal or a long shot. The maxim is, avoid debates, don’t mention his name — in other words, take your mother’s advice, and maybe if you ignore him, he’ll go away. But Rep. Tom Feeney (R-Fla.) seems to be taking the opposite tack, going to great lengths to creatively criticize his opponent, Clint Curtis. He’s not even using the usual characterizations political candidates often roll out against opponents: dishonest, shifty, out-of-step, etc.  Feeney instead is going for out-and-out crazy.

His campaign launched crazyclintcurtis.com, a website that depicts Curtis as a tinfoil hat-wearing loony-bin candidate. Curtis has made some rather unconventional claims. A former programmer for a Florida company, he has said Feeney asked him to write a program for a voting machine that would allow votes to be switched.

Feeney’s website, dubbed “A Political and Satirical Website Dedicated to the Tinfoil Tales of Crazy Clint Curtis,” is full of references to conspiracies and aluminum chapeaus. There’s a link to a wacky “Tinfoil Hat” song. Click on “Top Ten Tinfoil Tales” and Patsy Cline’s “Crazy” starts playing.

Curtis, though, says the attention is actually helping him.

“My biggest fear in entering this race is that [Feeney] would do nothing,” he said. “I hadn’t raised enough money to get my name out there, and he’s helped in that regard.”

And the accusations of mental illness? A desperate measure, Curtis says. “If I win and get investigations going, he’ll be in jail,” he said. “He’s acting frantic because he is frantic.”

 With friends like these …

With another unwelcome flap beleaguering his once-shoo-in reelection bid, newly minted Jewish-American Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) could use some help with damage control these days — and he’s getting a boost from someone he’d no doubt like to distance himself from.

The liberal blogosphere crowed last month when The Nation unearthed a 1996 photo of then-Gov. Allen at a conservative conference alongside Gordon Lee Baum, founder of the white-supremacist Council of Conservative Citizens (classified a “hate group” by the Southern Poverty Law Center). Reached at his home in Mississippi, Baum downplayed his 15 minutes of fame as an Allen albatross and predicted the presidential hopeful’s Sephardic roots would not drag down the campaign.

News reports “made it sound like [the race is] growing closer” between Allen and Democratic challenger Jim Webb, Baum said.

“Is it because he’s Jewish? I find that hard to believe. … There’s more anti-Semitism in the North than there is in the South.” The Council even had a Jewish member, Baum boasted.

As for the whole “Macaca” brouhaha, Baum said, “I’ve been around a long time and I’ve never heard of the word. I doubt he had any idea what the word meant.”

No one knows exactly what Allen is thinking lately, but it’s safe to say he’d rather have a, say, more diverse president of his fan club.