Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) will appear in a short cameo in Monday’s episode of the hit Fox show “24.”

The maverick lawmaker had one piece of advice for those looking for him on the small screen: “Don’t blink. That is all I can say.”

McCain has professed to be a fan of the show. On “The Daily Show” last year, he said, “I love ‘24.’ ... I watch it all the time. I’m sort of a Jack Bauer kind of guy.”

Yet he’s criticized some of the show’s depictions of torture.

McCain, who was tortured during his captivity in Vietnam, led an effort last year to force President Bush to accept a torture ban.

He has commented on the record that the “ticking time bomb”-type scenarios depicted on “24” rarely happen and that torture in such situations is ineffective because the captive will say anything to end his torment.

So naturally, McCain joked that he tortures people during his cameo on the show.

“I shoot one guy’s kneecap off, only one,” McCain quipped to reporters Tuesday. “A red-hot poker is planted in someone’s chest, but other than that, there is no torture.”

State of the Union: Those left behind

Among those you didn’t see at Tuesday night’s State of the Union address: Sens. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) and Byron Dorgan (D-N.D.), as well as Reps. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) and George Miller (D-Calif.).

They were the four members asked by the leadership of their respective parties to stay away from the House chamber for security reasons.

From the administration, Veterans Affairs Secretary Jim Nicholson watched from afar.

Traditionally, one member of the Cabinet and selected members of Congress skip the address in the case of a catastrophe in order to maintain the presidential line of succession.

The members’ press secretaries were tight-lipped about where their bosses watched the address, but according to sources it seems that their “undisclosed locations” ranged from off the Hill entirely to in their offices.

McKinney’s home vandalized with video

Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) returned home to Georgia on Sunday from a triumphant weekend at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah, where an award-winning documentary about her life premiered.

Her mood quickly soured, however, when she found the front yard of her district home littered with VCR tape in an apparent act of vandalism.

“Obviously, someone wants to send a message that they know where I live and can have access to my front yard to do unkind things,” she said in a statement released by her office.

The incident has been reported to police.

According to a release from Sundance, the film, “American Blackout,” is a “stylish hard-hitting documentary that recounts the fascinating career of Rep. Cynthia McKinney and the suppression of the black vote historically and during the recent presidential elections in Florida and Ohio.”

The film is directed by Ian Inaba, the creator of Eminem’s controversial “Mosh” video, released only days before the 2004 elections.

Appearing in the film are Reps. John Lewis (D-Ga.), John Conyers (D-Mich.), Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) and Stephanie Tubbs Jones (D-Ohio).

On Saturday, the documentary won a Sundance Film Festival Special Jury Award for documentary films.

“We are pleased with the success of ‘American Blackout’ at Sundance Film Festival and hope everyone who cares about our country will make a point to see it,” McKinney said.

Douglass joins New York U.

Linda Douglass, ABC-TV’s chief congressional correspondent for the past eight years, is going back to school.

Douglass is joining the Brademas Center for the Study of Congress in the Wagner School of Public Service at New York University as a senior fellow this month. She will also do some consulting for the Wagner School, named after late Sen. Robert Wagner (D-N.Y.). The Brademas Center is named after former Rep. John Brademas (D-Ind.).

Douglass, who’s worked for ABC the past nine years, will “examine and analyze the legislative process and how Congress makes public policy,” she said late last month after she and her husband, D.C. attorney John Phillips, hosted a book-signing party at their Georgetown home for their old friend Richard Reeves, who’s just published President Reagan: The Triumph of Imagination.

Douglass ended her 32-year career as a television journalist on Dec. 31; former Clinton White House aide George Stephanopoulos will succeed her in the correspondent role and will continue to host his Sunday talk show.

Kline-Rowley: Great moments in campaigning

In a tersely worded letter Monday, Rep. John Kline (R-Minn.) asked his Democratic opponent, Colleen Rowley, who made national headlines in 2003 as an FBI whistle-blower, to stop depicting him as a Nazi on her campaign blog and to apologize immediately.

The Nazi in question? Colonel Klink. A campaign staffer for Rowley doctored a photo of the second-term congressman to look like the bumbling commandant from “Hogan’s Heroes.”

Despite the pop-culture reference, Kline was not amused.

“Your attempts to smear my good name and 25 years of honorable service in the United States Marine Corps by equating me to a Nazi shows a lack of perspective, a lack of seriousness and a lack of good judgment,” he wrote. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

He asked her to apologize “to every veteran” in addition to himself and to take down the photo.

The photo has been removed from her site, and on Tuesday, Rowley sent Kline a letter of apology.

She said her intent was not to offend the congressman. She went on to say that “superimposing your face on the Colonel Klink character from the ‘Hogan’s Heroes’ sitcom is something that does not belong on a congressional website.”

She promised “to ensure this type of material does not emanate from my campaign again.”

The Star Tribune of Minneapolis saw the posting before it was removed. According to reporter Greg Gordon, it depicted Kline in Klink’s uniform with the character’s signature monocle over his left eye. President Grant stood next to Kline, in an attempt to mock Kline’s “effort last year to replace Grant’s visage with Ronald Reagan on the $50 bill.”

“It looks like we’re going to need some professional Web help,” her campaign manager, Joe Elcock, told the paper.