In the final throes of Sen. George Allen’s failed reelection bid, the Virginia Republican took aim at some seamier passages of fiction written by his rival, Democratic Sen.-elect Jim Webb. But we wonder what Allen thinks of some other fiction that hits a little closer to home.

Early fiction written by Allen’s sister, Jennifer, depicts scenes that might make even former Marine Webb blush. “Better Get Your Angel On,” Jennifer Allen’s 1989 collection of short stories, includes one story in which a couple engages in violent sexual acts while their child watches and smokes a joint. Other passages depict sex, violence and profanity.

The prose is written in a sort of disorienting, Faulkneresque style. A review from Publishers Weekly that accompanies the book’s listing on Amazon.com noted that with “insistent, arresting voices that hurtle the reader through glimpses of hedonistic, drug-speeded-up lives, some of the 13 very short stories in this debut collection succeed on their technical brilliance and shock value.”

Webb, a former Marine who served as secretary of the Navy, is the author of six novels, according to his website. Allen’s campaign trotted out passages from several of them, saying they were “demeaning” to women and “dehumanizing.”

Jennifer Allen’s most noted work is “Fifth Quarter: The Scrimmage of a Football Coach’s Daughter,” an autobiography that attracted attention because it depicted her father, beloved NFL coach George Allen, as removed from the family and said George was often cruel towards her.

Calls to Allen’s office weren’t returned by press time.

 
Pickering isn’t lining up to catch ‘Borat’ flick

If you’re one of the few waiting ’til the movie “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” comes out on DVD, you missed engaging in one of Washington’s favorite sports: spotting local celebrities.

The movie, in which comedian Sasha Baron Cohen impersonates an offensive and clueless Kazakhi student of American culture, features a few familiar D.C. faces, including erstwhile political candidate Alan Keyes, Rep. Chip Pickering (R-Miss.) and former Rep. Bob Barr (R-Ga.).

Pickering spokesman Brian Perry said his boss hasn’t seen the movie, and so he missed his cameo appearance in which he’s seen briefly addressing the crowd gathered at the annual Pentecostal revival in Byram, Miss. Perry said the congressman wasn’t aware that his appearance would make its way to the big screen.

Pickering probably won’t be taking in the Borat flick anytime soon, though.

“It’s not exactly his kind of movie,” Perry said.

Pickering’s appearance was far shorter (and way less offensive) than those of Barr or Keyes. In the scene with Keyes, Borat appears delighted to meet “a genuine chocolate-face.” And in one of the movie’s gross-out moments, Barr’s scene involves Borat offering Barr cheese, only to inform the former congressman as he’s eating it that the cheese was made from … well, let’s just say something you wouldn’t find in the 7-Eleven snack aisle.

 
Lieberman’s head of the class

A few members of the Senate’s incoming freshman class must be feeling like, well, freshmen. Maybe that’s because they’re being schooled by a former professor.

Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-Conn.), who as a long-serving senator will doubtless be showing the ropes to the chamber’s newbies, recalled on Tuesday that he had taught two of the new Democratic senators in a seminar class at Yale. Sherrod Brown, from Ohio, and Minnesotan Amy Klobuchar were two students of Lieberman, who taught seminar classes on state and local government and on the state Democratic Party.

Klobuchar reminded her former professor that she had earned an A in his class, said Liberman, who recalled that the new senator was his student in 1981 or 1982. Lieberman seemed glad to be in the company of former students, if a little perplexed.

“The statistical probability of this is probably about zero,” he told reporters.

We wonder what the good professor would have to say in teaching the lessons about his own unusual path to reelection this time around, considering his switch to running as an Independent after losing the Democratic primary wasn’t exactly textbook.

 Blumenauer says new members need caution, veggies

Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.) is proving himself to be ever the helpful colleague to new members of Congress. Blumenauer has circulated copies of a five-page guide he wrote to help steer freshmen through the first weeks of their terms.

In cheerful, big-brotherly terms, he advises on everything from the technical pitfalls of setting up shop to tips on staying healthy while in office.

Blumenauer’s perky guide, which The Hill is posting on its blog this week, includes the following tidbits:

On setting up the office:
•“Do not make snap decisions about opening numerous district offices. If you subsequently find … that it’s not working out, closing it will certainly create a firestorm.”
•“The key hires are the chief of staff, the office manager and scheduler, a district director, a legislative director, and a technical person. Somebody in this core group needs to know you; somebody also needs to know the District.”

On staying healthy and sane:
•“Schedule three ‘meetings on the move’ [meetings where you walk or run with friends, constituents or staff] per week.”
•“Work hard to have a ‘buddy’ or two in your class and at least one friend across the aisle.”
•“Always have health food — fruits and vegetables — in your office to snack on.”

 Schwartz’s choice: jocks or cool kids?

Rep. Allyson Schwartz (D-Pa.) has an observation about life in Congress to share with incoming freshman members: It’s a lot like high school.

Schwartz, who was just elected to a second term, said that when she first arrived in Washington she was surprised to learn there are no assigned seats on the House floor. The 435 desks have no names on them, and aside from the chamber being divided by party, members may sit wherever they choose.

That choice isn’t as easy as it sounds. “It becomes an interesting issue,” Schwartz told a group of new members, staffers and others at a welcome-to-Congress breakfast sponsored by The Hill and Nemacolin Woodlands Resort on Wednesday. “It’s like when you go to high school — do you sit with the jocks? Do you sit at the cool table?”

Members often segregate themselves into state delegations, and Schwartz said she sometimes makes herself at home in the chamber’s “Pennsylvania corner.” And just like in high school (or at those power-mingling cocktail parties where everyone seems to be staring at one another), who you’re seen chatting with matters. “There’s a lot of milling around,” she said. “It’s highly visible.”

Still, those sans-cocktail cocktail parties on the floor serve a purpose. “It’s a good chance to talk to people,” she said.

Another piece of advice that might help Schwartz earn a spot at the “popular” table: Be nice to staffers. The congresswoman says she goes out of her way to connect with staffers, a strategy that has its benefits. “There are committee staffers who go the extra mile for me, because I sought them out,” she said.