Oh, how we would have liked to have been a fly on the wall when Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) rose to speak during a Tuesday policy lunch.

Only seven days earlier, he had delivered a heartfelt apology at the same weekly meeting. Fellow Republicans responded with thunderous applause, and most refused to tell reporters how Vitter had addressed his forced public admission that he had committed a “serious sin” and was linked to an alleged prostitution ring.

So just imagine their confusion when Vitter scrambled to his feet a week later. Would he apologize again? Had he committed some new sin?

But no. Instead, he launched into a speech about his thoughts on “rebranding” the party by reclaiming the fiscal conservative mantle.

Yes, that’s right: Vitter, on improving the Republican image.

This time, his colleagues held the applause.

Senate vocabulary lesson

The phrase of the day, brought to you by the United States Senate, is: “It’s not personal.”

What it means: “It’s personal.”

Take the squabble between Sens. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) and Ben Nelson (D-Neb.).

It started in October 2005, when Coburn went after a Nelson-requested earmark. In the course of that debate — ultimately won by Nelson — the two made a deal whereby Coburn would talk to Nelson whenever he publicly sought to cut one of the Nebraskan’s projects.

Nelson said he was shocked to discover that Coburn filed an amendment on July 13 to strip out a $7.5 million earmark for 21st Century Systems Inc. (21CSI), a Nebraska-based defense contractor, even though the former hadn’t yet made his case to leave the earmark alone.

When Nelson saw Coburn on the Senate floor July 18, he told Coburn, “I thought we had a deal!”

“My staff talked when they shouldn’t have, and that’s been corrected,” Coburn said he explained to Nelson. He also apologized, as both sides recalled.

Then was born a newspaper fight. Coburn said Nelson had dug out an Oklahoma earmark for a company that helped get military “video games” on the commercial market. The fight was on. At last count, more than 20 news stories quote one of the members or his office talking about the other one.

By Tuesday, Nelson looked tired.

“I’m just going to let this go,” Nelson said. “It’s not personal — it really isn’t.”

Coburn spokesman John Hart said Coburn is simply passionate about rooting out earmarks.

“He has a lot of respect for Sen. Nelson,” Hart said. “It’s never a personal or partisan exercise for Dr. Coburn.”

As for the apology, Nelson spokesman David DiMartino couldn’t help but point out that Coburn was quick to place the blame for the mistake on his aides.

“I’m glad Coburn is a doctor, because his staff is going to need that when they dig them out from under that bus,” DiMartino quipped. 

Big Grassley endorses and renames Nussle

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) may have found the best possible slogan to help former Rep. Jim Nussle win confirmation as President Bush’s next budget director.

Nussle, whose Senate endorsement is far from assured, first met Grassley while enrolled at Luther College, where the student drove the lawmaker around in an “old Ford” as a volunteer for the senator’s 1980 campaign.

Grassley said in his introduction of Nussle at the Tuesday hearing that he was a little disappointed that none of his five children would continue his legacy in politics. And, somehow, the Grassley brood’s distaste for Washington has helped Nussle’s cause.

“I always thought, well, it’d be nice to have somebody like me in the United States Senate, so when he ran for the Congress I backed him,” Grassley said. “And I considered him kind of a little Grassley.”

Maybe if Nussle goes by “Little Grassley,” Democratic senators will forget their qualms with the guy they say is too partisan for the budget job. Or maybe not.

“I cannot help but comment that this little Grassley has grown to be a mighty Nussle,” Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.) said.

Sneaky rep. may have almost caused a resignation or two