How’s this for an odd combination: former RNC chairman Ed Gillespie, Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) and two ventriloquist dummies.

According to the organizers of the annual “Funniest Celebrity in Washington” contest slated for Sept. 27, the bizarre foursome are polishing up their act, which will be a “Crossfire”-style debate.  Event organizer Richard Segal says he had heard that both men are accomplished ventriloquists (how’s that for D.C. trivia?) and thought they would make a good team. 

“So I asked Ed Gillespie to make a call he probably thought he would never make,” Segal says of prompting the two to join forces.

Gillespie, though, is keeping his own mouth shut (and his ventriloquist dummy did not return calls). He acknowledged that he planned to take the stage at the event, but he would neither confirm nor deny details about the act.  With a politician’s flair for showmanship, Gillespie apparently is hoping a little mystery will boost audience turnout.

“I want the suspense to build,” he said.  Gillespie did cop to being an experienced ventriloquist and said the trickiest skill involved is mastering timing.

Also taking the stage at the laugh-fest will be Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-Calif.), Rep. Brian Baird (D-Wash.), who was last year’s winner of the funniest celeb title, and an assortment of media luminaries. The pols and other bold-facers have plenty of incentive—other than the possibility of either sweet victory or public humiliation — to participate:  Proceeds of the event will be donated to Bread for the City.

All together now: TERR-OR-IST TRI-BUN-AL…

During a Tuesday meeting of the House Republican conference, Conference Chairwoman Deborah Pryce (R-Ohio) unveiled a handy new rhetorical device aimed at furthering House Republicans tough-on-terrorism national security agenda.

Instead of referring to military tribunals as, well, the military tribunals that they are and have been known as throughout their entire existence, House Republicans should start referring to them as “terrorist tribunals,” to emphasize the bad guys they will be trying. (Very clever. Never mind that good ol’ American adage “innocent until proven guilty.”)

But even after Pryce’s instructions, House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) needed a reminder. When he rose to speak about next week’s floor schedule, according to our fly on the wall, he mentioned “military tribunals for suspected terrorists.”  He then caught himself, looked at Pryce, and asked, “What is it again?”

Pryce corrected Boehner, who then amended his speech with the by-the-playbook phrase “terrorist tribunals.”

Fiscal conservatives and legislative purists often talk trash about Christmas trees—of the congressional sort. In Hill-speak, a “Christmas tree” being a bill that looks likely to pass, making it a prime target for lawmakers to attach all kinds of extraneous legislative “ornaments.”  Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.), though, wants to honor Christmas trees—of the evergreen sort.  But certainly not the plastic ones. (How gauche!)

Foxx, whose family runs a nursery that includes Christmas trees, has introduced a resolution “recognizing the contributions of the Christmas tree industry to the United States economy,” and urging the Department of Agriculture to promote “awareness of the importance of the Christmas-tree industry.” 

But don’t break into a chorus of “O Tannenbaum” just yet.  A Foxx spokesman tells us that the congresswoman is planning to introduce a new resolution “clarifying” that the resolution applies only to the live Christmas tree industry, not to makers of the artificial versions.

“Congresswoman Foxx is a believer in traditional family values, and the Christmas tree is a symbol of that,” the spokesman said.  But those tacky plastic trees? Well, let’s just say Norman Rockwell never painted a family pulling one of those out of its box. 

Fall fashion alert: macaca-wear is in

The metabolism of the hipster political T-shirt industry is hamster-like. Just days after Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) made his notorious “macaca” gaffe, creative folks had designed T-shirts to commemorate it. For those living under a cable-TV free rock, “macaca” was how Allen identified his opponent’s staffer, who just happened to be of Indian descent.

And it’s not just T-shirts. Take your pick of bumper stickers. And coffee mugs. And mousepads, stickers, buttons, and onesies for the littlest liberals at daycare.

Now, there are at least 33 designs to choose from on Cafepress.com, featuring various combinations of Allen’s face, macaca monkeys, and the occasional Confederate flag.  One reads: “When this is how Republicans see you, it’s time to vote Democrat” under the mug shot of a furry monkey. “Macaca Happens!” reads another.

Allen apologized for the remark and said he had mangled a nickname referring to the staffer’s Mohawk haircut. 

But the oh-so-clever T-shirt designers apparently aren’t buying that line.

Cafepress.com, which allows anyone to have the design of their choice printed on a variety of goods and then offers them for sale, isn’t just for Dem designs.  Under the “Republican Gear” section, you’ll also find a decidedly conservative twist on those ubiquitous “Vote for Pedro” T-shirts. 

“Deport Pedro,” one shirt reads.

Sen. Lieberman cracks Howdy-Doody joke; “kids” don’t get it

A jokey moment in a Monday hearing of the Senate Homeland Security Committee revealed a pop-culture generational gap—or chasm. During the question-and-answer session after his testimony, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff made a passing reference to being in “the peanut gallery.” 

Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-Conn.), the committee’s ranking member, called the mention “generationally sensitive,” recalling that the peanut gallery was the name for the seating area for kids at the “Howdy Doody” television show popular in the 1950s. 

But he ended with a compliment: “I prefer to think of you not as a member of the peanut gallery, but as Buffalo Bob,” Lieberman said, referring to the show’s host.

That reference apparently baffled two relative youngsters, 52-year-old Chertoff and 53-year-old Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine).

Chertoff said he had thought “the peanut gallery” was a baseball reference, while Collins simply appeared confused.

“I must say, this is all completely lost on me,” she said.

“For obvious reasons,” said Lieberman, 64, smiling at his juniors.