Meghan McCain shares story of miscarriage
© The View

Meghan McCainMeghan Marguerite McCainCindy McCain says no one in Republican Party carries 'voice of reason' after husband's death Meghan McCain to release audiobook on 'bold conservatism' for 21st century Meghan McCain presses Steyer on 2020 bid: 'You have not proven that you can inspire people' MORE is revealing that she suffered a miscarriage, saying she hopes by sharing her story, women will be able to speak about fertility struggles “without the stigma.”

In an op-ed published Friday in The New York Times, McCain recalls being photographed recently as part of a magazine cover shoot on the success of the talk show she co-hosts, “The View.”

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“I should have been proud. I knew my father would have been proud,” the 34-year-old daughter of the late Sen. John McCainJohn Sidney McCainCindy McCain says no one in Republican Party carries 'voice of reason' after husband's death Anti-gun violence organization endorses Kelly's Senate bid McCain's family, McCain Institute to promote #ActsOfCivility in marking first anniversary of senator's death MORE (R-Ariz.) writes. “I look back at those pictures now, and I see a woman hiding her shock and sorrow. I am posed for the camera, looking stern and strong, representing my fellow conservative women across the country. But inside, I am dying. Inside, my baby is dying.”

McCain details how she missed a few days of work following her miscarriage, which led to speculation and “gossip” about her absence.

“This was not supposed to be public knowledge. I have had my share of public grief and public joy. I wish this grief — the grief of a little life begun and then lost — could remain private.

“I am not hiding anymore. My miscarriage was a horrendous experience and I would not wish it upon anyone,” writes McCain, who married Ben Domenech in 2017.

McCain says for as devastatingly common as miscarriages are, they’re “a pain too often unacknowledged.”

The TV host and conservative commentator says her initial reaction to her loss was to blame herself: “Perhaps it was wrong of me to choose to be a professional woman, working in a high-pressure, high-visibility, high-stress field, still bearing the burden of the recent loss of my father and facing on top of that the arrows that come with public life. This is not a complaint. This is reality.”

“I blamed my age, I blamed my personality. I blamed everything and anything a person could think of, and what followed was a deep opening of shame,” writes McCain.

But in her emotional essay, she says she later realized, she wasn’t at fault.

“I have love for my child. I have love for all the women who, like me, were briefly in the sisterhood of motherhood, hoping, praying and nursing joy within us, until the day the joy was over.

“You are not alone,” McCain tells readers.

McCain, whose father died last year after a battle with brain cancer, said after his death she “took refuge in the hope that someday we would be united in the hereafter.”

“Now I imagine it a bit differently,” writes McCain, “There is my father — and he is holding his granddaughter in his hands.”