The comedian made a surprise appearance at Steve Martin and Martin Short’s show in San Antonio on Friday night to reprise his most famous bit: The top ten list.
Letterman said he had no regrets about retiring from comedy — until Donald Trump said he was running for president.
“I have made the biggest mistake of my life, ladies and gentlemen,” he quipped, before launching into a list of “interesting facts” about Trump. Among the highlights:
- “Donald Trump looks like the guy on a lifeboat with women and children.”
- “Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds — 250 with cologne.”
- “If president, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving.”
- In a nod to Martin and Short’s legendary comedy “¡Three Amigos!”: “Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a movie called ‘No Amigos.’ ” 
Trump, a 2016 Republican presidential contender, has surprised many by rising in the polls in recent days.
He’s courted controversy by doubling down on controversial remarks about immigration. Trump is scheduled to speak at an immigration rally Saturday afternoon in Arizona.