Monica Lewinsky says one of her biggest fears of having her story depicted in FX's forthcoming "American Crime Story: Impeachment," of which she serves as a producer, is that she'll be "misunderstood again."
"I have anxiety about the process being week to week. That was very challenging for me with the scripts — to understand the arc of this story," Lewinsky, 48, said in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter published Wednesday.
The third season of the FX series focuses on the "overlooked dimensions" of the 1990s scandal surrounding former President Clinton's affair with the then-White House intern.
Beanie Feldstein stars as Lewinsky on the show, which is poised to premiere on Sep. 7.
"There was an enormous amount of trust that I’ve had to have with the scripts and the actors and the show, and there’ve been many places where I was scared and doubted and then I understood once I saw it onscreen or I saw later episodes," Lewinsky said.
"But I’m nervous about being misunderstood again. I’m also just nervous because this story is connected to many layers of people in power, and the scaffolding and the structures that are around power and protect power can sometimes be very overwhelming if you’re on the wrong side of it, and I’ve experienced that over the years," she said.
Feldstein told The Hollywood Reporter that she aimed "to do right" by Lewinsky in her portrayal, and frequently texts with her.
"You let me find my own you in a very beautiful way — and you’ve been very open with all of us throughout this whole process," Feldstein said to Lewinsky in the interview. "And yeah, there were times where I’d text her, like, 'So, what nail polish color were you wearing here?'"
Calling making the show "surreal," Lewinsky, now an anti-cyberbullying advocate and a Vanity Fair contributing editor, said, "There are many moments where I’m transported to a memory from the show. But also, there’s the kind of bizarreness that when we relive a memory in our head, we don’t see ourselves."
"So, I found in watching it that there were moments where I was just thinking, like, 'Oh God, don’t talk to her. Don’t smile at him. Don’t wear the beret — just don’t wear the beret.'”