I have decided to drop my career as a media talkmeister and start my own bank.

Trust me, I know nothing about running a bank, but I think such transparency is important. Nonetheless, my goal is to become “too big to fail” so that I can be assured — even “insured” — that Uncle Sam has my back.

In fact, as long as I convince the government that I am too big to fail — bingo, I will always be considered too big to fail. My inability to run the bank profitably will go unnoticed, and I can bank on the government to fill my coffers. Even if the government gives me money specifically to keep me afloat and help unfreeze the credit markets, I will sit on the money until I deem it the right time to make a move.

I did not take this decision lightly, and there is ample evidence that my business model will prevail. Look at Obama and Geithner’s Public-Private Investment Program as evidence that banking is the place to be.

The administration is betting that such a private-public partnership will help to unfreeze the credit markets. The problem is that the largest of banks — such as Citi — are reluctant to sell their assets at fire-sale prices. They fear that such a move would deplete their capital reserves. This is odd, however, because no one has effectively been able to value the loans and securities at stake. It begs the question: How do we know that anything would actually be sold at fire-sale prices? Let us not forget that Citi alone has received $45 billion from the government since last fall. Who is leading whom?

It is clear who is in the driver’s seat. Geithner has lost control of the bailout and rescue process — as he has demonstrated that he is bowing to corporate America and susceptible to its whims and influence.

Let AIG and the bonus debacle serve as a testament to this. Geithner is far more reactive than proactive in instilling confidence in the American public that he is securely at the helm.

However, at some point he will get it right. He can afford to test theory after theory to save our economy because he has trillions of dollars to throw at the problem. I am not impressed by the trial-and-error approach to solving this problem. And there is no doubt we can be assured that this administration’s mistakes will be swept under the rug as though they are a result of the mess they inherited on Jan. 20.

I would laugh myself all the way to banking ownership, if I didn't think this was such a serious matter with devastating and severe marketplace consequences.

Visit www.armstrongwilliams.com .