10. Been to Florida lately?

9. You must be raking it in with the Internet doing so well.

8. I liked you better with a beard.

7. The Clintons send their best.

6. Can you believe that I beat you in those debates?

5. I told you to go back to Tennessee once in a while.

4. I turned down the air conditioning just for you.

3. Kerry was an even bigger pigeon than you.

2. Are the marks on my carpet from your carbon footprint?

1. If Letterman wasn’t on strike, I could send this list to him.