Rangel turns 80 ... he just doesn’t know when

According to his birth certificate, Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.) turned 80 this past Friday. But according to Rangel, his birthday is sometime in August. He’s just not sure when. 

“As far as I’m concerned, my birthday is the day of my big summer fundraiser,” he told ITK. “I just can’t remember the exact date of it this year.”

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He explained that the moving-target birthday had evolved out of political necessity. “You see, for years the Democratic primaries in New York always used to be held the second week of June, and you know, nobody wants to celebrate right before a primary, all stressed out, so I just canceled my birthday every year until I stopped even thinking about it.”

The late-summer party is a perfect way to make up for lost merrymaking. “Now my daughters, and even my sister, will call me up and say, ‘Charlie, when’s your birthday this year?’ ”

But the big issue this year wasn’t when. It was where.

“For years, I held a big party at Tavern on the Green,” Rangel recalled, shaking his head nostalgically, “but they went under last year, which was such a shame.”

But for a lawmaker as dapper and powerful as Rangel, the replacement couldn’t be just any old restaurant: “We’ll be at the Plaza Hotel this year,” he said.

As for the date, a staff member told ITK the big bash is on Aug. 11.