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The Hill's 12:30 Report

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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

 

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Trump calls correspondents' dinner 'dead as we know it' | White House press on defensive | Cruz pushing back on McConnell's 2018 strategy | Trump floats North Korea meeting spot | Rodman wants credit for peace talks | Trump, Macron tree in quarantine | Prince William nods off during memorial service

 

LATEST WITH NORTH KOREA

Why negotiate via email or phone when you can have the entire world publicly weigh in?!: This morning, President TrumpDonald John TrumpFive takeaways from Cruz, O'Rourke's debate showdown Arpaio files libel suit against New York Times IMF's Christine Lagarde delays trip to Middle East MORE suggested meeting North Korean leader Kim Jong Un in the "Truce Village" between the borders of North and South Korea. He tweeted: "Numerous countries are being considered for the MEETING, but would Peace House/Freedom House, on the Border of North & South Korea, be a more Representative, Important and Lasting site than a third party country? Just asking!" When's this meeting happening?: Still unclear, but likely in the coming weeks. http://bit.ly/2JGJbFz

KEEP IN MIND: The meeting spot President Trump suggested is where the North and South Korean Olympic delegations met before the Winter Olympics. https://cnb.cx/2FsK6GY

 

World leaders play 'keep away' with nuclear weapons:
Think: Peyton Manning --> http://bit.ly/2rbbmVl
Via The Associated Press's Kim Tong-Hyung, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un said he would dismantle his nuclear test site in May *if* the United States pledges not to invade his country. Context: "While there are lingering questions about [North Korea giving up its nuclear weapons], Kim's comments amount to the North's most specific acknowledgement yet that 'denuclearization' would constitute surrendering its weapons." How national security adviser John Bolton reacted: Skeptical. Bolton: "Well, we've heard this before. This is -- the North Korean propaganda playbook is an infinitely rich resource." http://bit.ly/2I2puuM

I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE HEADLINE -- 'TRUMP HIRES DENNIS RODMAN AS NORTH KOREA ADVISER': In an interview with TMZ, former NBA player Dennis Rodman is taking credit for the peace talks with North Korea. Watch Rodman's reasoning: http://bit.ly/2HBL3Tu

 

It's Monday, April 30. OK, where did April go? I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and funny videos to cmartel@thehill.com@CateMartel and on Facebook.

 

TALK OF THE MORNING

Welp, that was awkward: The White House Correspondents' Association is facing blowback for comedian Michelle Wolf's controversial monologue over the weekend, where she took shots at White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sandershttp://bit.ly/2HBref0

If you missed the speech: Here's a short video of the dinner highlights: https://wapo.st/2jgTEfG

The 57 most outlandish lines: Here's the list https://cnn.it/2HBvhrI

 

REACTIONS:

The New York Times's Peter Baker: "Unfortunately, I don't think we advanced the cause of journalism tonight." http://bit.ly/2HDEPCH

Politico's Kyle Cheney on why Wolf failed: "Michelle Wolf didn't fail just because she was (spectacularly) one-sided. It was because she was unnecessarily cruel on a night the WHCA was trying to showcase decency and purpose. Undermined an otherwise meaningful night." http://bit.ly/2rcv82T

How Trump reacted -- what you'd expect: President Trump slammed the dinner, calling the event "dead as we know it." He also added: "This was a total disaster and an embarrassment to our great Country and all that it stands for. FAKE NEWS is alive and well and beautifully represented on Saturday night!" http://bit.ly/2r85xJs

But not everyone thought the speech went poorly: GOP strategist Ana Navarro defended Wolf's routine. She said on CNN: "I'd say to Michelle Wolf, 'Hallelujah, girl.' You should be the one getting the Nobel Peace Prize. She was able to do what nobody else has been able to do: Get Trump supporters to actually go on TV and defend women from being skewered and offended for their looks." Keep in mind: Navarro is a frequent Trump critic. Watch the clip: http://bit.ly/2r9qfrm

Trending op-ed: The Washington Post's Molly Roberts writes why she thinks "Michelle Wolf got it right." It has more than 70,000 shares: https://wapo.st/2raqao2

Did the WHCA defend Wolf?: Not. At. All. White House Correspondents' Association President Margaret Talev criticized Wolf's routine, saying it was "not in the spirit" of the association's mission. http://bit.ly/2HJwmdf

Op-ed on the dinner: http://bit.ly/2JCbcOC

  

IN OTHER NEWS

But they did such an excellent job at planting the tree!: 
Throwback photo --> http://bit.ly/2qWigOh
Via The Associated Press, the oak tree that President Trump and French President Emmanuel Macron planted has disappeared from the White House lawn. There's a reason: "The French president's office says there's nothing mysterious about the disappearance of an oak tree he planted on the White House lawn. It was put in quarantine, like other plants or animals brought into U.S. territory." http://bit.ly/2HC6ALQ

 

Ted CruzRafael (Ted) Edward CruzFive takeaways from Cruz, O'Rourke's debate showdown O'Rourke's mom discusses past Dem votes after labeled 'lifelong Republican' by son Live coverage: Cruz faces O'Rourke in Texas debate showdown MORE thought Rand PaulRandal (Rand) Howard PaulSaudi mystery drives wedge between Trump, GOP Noisy democracy, or rude people behaving like children? Lawmakers, Wall Street shrug off Trump's escalating Fed attacks MORE was having all of the fun: Via The Hill's Alexander Bolton, "Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), who has been more of a team player since losing the 2016 GOP presidential primary to Donald Trump, is reemerging as an agitator in the GOP conference." How so: "Cruz is questioning Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnellAddison (Mitch) Mitchell McConnellGraham: I hope Dems 'get their ass kicked' for conduct around Kavanaugh Saudi mystery drives wedge between Trump, GOP Overnight Defense: Trump worries Saudi Arabia treated as 'guilty until proven innocent' | McConnell opens door to sanctions | Joint Chiefs chair to meet Saudi counterpart | Mattis says Trump backs him '100 percent' MORE's (R-Ky.) strategy on the GOP's 2018 agenda, which is to steer clear of partisan bills that don't have Democratic support." Keep in mind: Cruz is up for reelection this year and facing an interesting challenge from Rep. Beto O'RourkeRobert (Beto) Francis O'RourkeO'Rourke's mom discusses past Dem votes after labeled 'lifelong Republican' by son Election Countdown: Dems outraise GOP in final stretch | 2018 midterms already most expensive in history | What to watch in second Cruz-O'Rourke debate | Trump raises 0M for reelection | Why Dems fear Avenatti's approach Julián Castro says he’s 'likely' to run in 2020 MORE (D). http://bit.ly/2HGreGq

 

NOTABLE TWEETS:

Lol: 

   

ON TAP:

Congress is out.

Today–Wednesday: The Milken Institute's 21st annual Global Conference in Los Angeles. Full agenda: http://bit.ly/2FsONAT

Noon: President Trump meets with President Muhammadu Buhari of the Federal Republic of Nigeria at the White House. The two have a working lunch.

Happening now: Treasury Secretary Steven MnuchinSteven Terner MnuchinIMF's Christine Lagarde delays trip to Middle East Saudi mystery drives wedge between Trump, GOP Trump: Saudi Arabia another case of 'guilty until proven innocent' MORE speaks at the Milken Institute Global Conference. Meanwhile, House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthyKevin Owen McCarthyDemocrats in swing districts advised to avoid talking about immigration The Hill's Morning Report — Presented by the Coalition for Affordable Prescription Drugs — Trump travels to hurricane-ravaged Florida, Georgia McCarthy brother-in-law under scrutiny for earning federal contracts based on Native American identity claim MORE (R-Calif.) is speaking at another conference event. 

7:45 a.m. EDT Tuesday: Commerce Secretary Wilbur RossWilbur Louis RossSessions attacks judge who ordered officials to sit for depositions in challenges to Census citizenship question Harris accuses GOP of ‘weaponizing’ 2020 Census DOJ: Commerce chief spoke with Bannon, Sessions about census citizenship question MORE speaks at the Milken Institute Global Conference. 

8:45 a.m. EDT Wednesday: House Speaker Paul RyanPaul Davis RyanSaudi mystery drives wedge between Trump, GOP GOP group makes late play in Iowa seat once seen as lost Adelsons donated M in September to help GOP in midterms MORE (R-Wis.) speaks at the Milken Institute Global Conference. 

10 a.m. EDT Wednesday: Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates speaks at the Milken Institute Global Conference. 

Wednesday: The World Health Care Congress is holding an event in Washington, D.C. Featured speakers: Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar and Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services Administrator Seema Verma

 

WHAT TO WATCH:

Happening now: Former Labor Department Secretary nominee Andrew Puzder speaks at a Heritage Foundation event on "The Capitalist Comeback." Livestream: http://bit.ly/2JEZti6

Just announced — 1:15 p.m. EDT Tuesday: Newly confirmed Secretary of State Mike PompeoMichael (Mike) Richard PompeoIMF's Christine Lagarde delays trip to Middle East Saudi mystery drives wedge between Trump, GOP Overnight Defense: Trump worries Saudi Arabia treated as 'guilty until proven innocent' | McConnell opens door to sanctions | Joint Chiefs chair to meet Saudi counterpart | Mattis says Trump backs him '100 percent' MORE will address State Department employees. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2rb4mc6

1:30 p.m. EDT: President Trump has a joint press conference with Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari

7:20 p.m. EDT: President Trump has dinner with supporters at an event at an undisclosed location in Washington. D.C.

2 p.m. EDT Tuesday: Deputy Attorney General Rod RosensteinRod Jay RosensteinFBI investigated media leak of McCabe comment about Flynn and Trump House Judiciary chairman threatens to subpoena Rosenstein Sessions unveils task force to combat transnational criminal groups like MS-13 MORE speaks at a Newseum event. Details and livestream: http://bit.ly/2vYKQo9

 

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...:

Today is National Oatmeal Cookie Day. It's also National Raisin Day. Finally, two simultaneous food holidays that make sense together!

 

This is so relatable: Prince William, who just welcomed a new baby into his family, kept nodding off during memorial services at Westminster Abbey. http://bit.ly/2rbnx4v

http://thehill.com/sites/default/files/1230tweets0430182.jpg http://bit.ly/2JDZVgA

 

And to break up your day, here's a dog absolutely annihilating a piece of watermelon. I respect its pace: http://bit.ly/2vWUojt