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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.


The Hill's 12:30 Report: Trump slams Mueller as probe hits one year | Divisions deepen over investigation | Trump questions if Obama 'spied' on campaign | Ryan faces crisis over immigration | Why Manchin is Trump's top midterm target | Giuliani says Trump team would challenge any subpoena | The science behind 'Yanny or Laurel' | How to hear both names



Fodder for anyone who wants to pat me on the back for a job well done: 

President TrumpDonald John TrumpWith VP pick, Biden can't play small ball in a long ball world Coronavirus hits defense contractor jobs Wake up America, your country doesn't value your life MORE argued that the first 17 months of his presidency have been more successful than any other administration. He tweeted: "Despite the disgusting, illegal and unwarranted Witch Hunt, we have had the most successful first 17 month Administration in U.S. history -- by far! Sorry to the Fake News Media and 'Haters,' but that's the way it is!"

Trump thinking back to the past 17 months: 'I'm great, aren't I?'


Happy Thursday -- it's another rainy day in Washington. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to and on Facebook.



HaPpY aNnIvErSaRy!: 
Today marks one year since Robert MuellerRobert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE was appointed special counsel to investigate Russian meddling. Via The Hill's Katie Bo William and Morgan Chalfant, here's how divisions have deepened in the investigation:

TRUMP TWEETED TO 'CELEBRATE' THE DAY: President Trump kicked off the morning calling the investigation a "witch hunt." He tweeted: "Congratulations America, we are now into the second year of the greatest Witch Hunt in American History...and there is still No Collusion and No Obstruction. The only Collusion was that done by Democrats who were unable to win an Election despite the spending of far more money!" Anyone else miss the days of 140-character tweets?

IT COULD BE BIGGER THAN BRIDGEGATE, WATERGATE AND CUPCAKEGATE COMBINED: This morning, President Trump tweeted about a report that former President Obama spied on the Trump campaign in 2016. He tweeted: "Wow, word seems to be coming out that the Obama FBI 'SPIED ON THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN WITH AN IMBEDDED INFORMANT.' Andrew McCarthy says, 'There's probably no doubt that they had at least one confidential informant in the campaign.' If so, this is bigger than Watergate!" Background: Trump was referring to a National Review report last week that alleges Obama administration agencies used their surveillance powers to monitor the Trump campaign. Flashback: Trump has previously accused Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower during the election, a claim the White House walked back.

GOOD PRIMER -- MEET THE MUELLERS: Via CNN, here are the 17 lawyers working on special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation.

^Anyone else feel like this deserves a '90s style sitcom open?

 --> ;)

EXCLUSIVE -- SHOW ME YOUR CONTACTS: Via The Hill's Jonathan Easley, a judge will rule on the release of the special counsel's contacts with the media. "The Hill viewed the relevant court filings, which are reported here for the first time. Klayman filed the initial FOIA request with the special counsel, the Justice Department and the FBI on Jan. 2, arguing that the correspondences needed to be revealed because the special counsel's office was leaking to the media to bolster its criminal cases."


Rudy Giuliani is a cable sound bite's dream: 

President Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani has been making news on the special counsel Robert Mueller investigation. The highlights:

ON THE POSSIBILITY OF A SUBPOENA: Giuliani said if Robert Mueller's team subpoenas Trump, his team will challenge it. Giuliani's reasoning: "Giuliani said the president cannot be subpoenaed because his position guarantees him immunity based on the Constitution." Yeah, but...: "No federal laws or rulings from the High Court have barred a sitting president from being subpoenaed."

ON ANY TRUMP INDICTMENTS: Giuliani said the special counsel's team told Trump's legal team that they cannot indict President Trump. Giuliani also said he believes the Constitution prevents the indictment of a sitting president. How Mueller's team reacted: They declined to comment.


Taking a step back -- yesterday was insane: 

Politico's Kyle Cheney pulled together a list of the investigation news *just* from yesterday.

"- Senate Intel endorses [intelligence community] conclusion Russia supported Trump. 

- Cohen solicited $1m from Qataris 

- Cohen files went missing from Treasury 

- Trump Tower transcripts reveal effort to coordinate messages 

- NYT tour de force on origin of Russia probe

- Giuliani claims Mueller team confirmed it can't indict Trump (tells WaPo impeachment must precede indictment) 

- Jordan/Meadows write Trump, tell him to overrule DOJ and release Mueller docs."



Trump makes a voodoo doll of Sen. Manchin: 

Via The Hill's Alexander BoltonPresident Trump has made Sen. Joe ManchinJoseph (Joe) ManchinWhite House, Senate reach deal on trillion stimulus package Some Democrats growing antsy as Senate talks drag on Senate fails to advance coronavirus stimulus bill for second time in two days MORE (D-W.Va.) a top target in the midterms. How we know: Trump told Republican senators behind closed doors that he plans to target Manchin. Why it's ironic: Manchin is pretty friendly Democrat to Republicans. Yeah, but: Republicans winning Manchin's seat will help protect the GOP majority in the Senate. Why Republicans chose West Virginia: Trump won Manchin's home state by 42 points over Hillary ClintonHillary Diane Rodham ClintonWith VP pick, Biden can't play small ball in a long ball world Hillary Clinton on US leading in coronavirus cases: Trump 'did promise "America First"' Democratic fears rise again as coronavirus pushes Biden to sidelines MORE in 2016.


*Hold my beer while I violently scream into a pillow*:

Via The Hill's Amie Parnes, "The 2016 GOP primary has never ended -- at least when it comes to cable news. Every day on CNN, MSNBC and social media, Republicans who once worked for GOP senators and governors bested by President Trump in the long primary are among his most vehement critics. Often, their critiques are even more pointed than those coming from Democrats." Full story:



Why Paul RyanPaul Davis RyanWho should be the Democratic vice presidential candidate? The Pelosi administration It's not populism that's killing America's democracy MORE isn't sleeping well: 

Via The Hill's Scott Wong and Melania Zanona, the GOP is split on how to handle immigration and the differences are causing a crisis for GOP leadership. How: "Momentum is building for an insurgent effort by centrist Republicans to force immigration votes on the House floor despite GOP leadership's attempt to tamp down the rebellion." ​Possible scenarios:


Chances the Donald Trump–Kim Jong Un meeting happens? Not as high as they were a week ago: 

Via The Hill's Jordan Fabian and Rebecca Kheel, President Trump acknowledged that the planned meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un may not happen. What changed: North Korea threatened to cancel the meeting if the U.S. demands "unilateral" nuclear disarmament.


Fox News has a new CEO: 

Via The Hill's Joe ConchaSuzanne Scott has been named chief executive officer of Fox News and Fox Business. Scott, who has been with the network since its inception in 1996, will report jointly to Lachlan Murdoch and Rupert Murdoch, the 21st Century Fox executive chairman, executive chairman of Fox News and co-chairman of the proposed New Fox.



'They see me rollin', they hatin' ... tryin' to catch me riding dirty': 

^I crack myself up.


Watch the video -- it's pretty funny:



The House and Senate are in.

Today: BakerHostetler's 29th Annual Legislative Seminar. Featured speakers: Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.), Rep. Adam SchiffAdam Bennett SchiffCoronavirus pushes GOP's Biden-Burisma probe to back burner Texas man arrested for allegedly threatening Democrats over coronavirus bill Schiff: Remote voting would not compromise national security MORE (D-Calif.), Sen. Roy BluntRoy Dean BluntHillicon Valley: Apple rolls out coronavirus screening app, website | Pompeo urged to crack down on coronavirus misinformation from China | Senators push FTC on price gouging | Instacart workers threaten strike Lawmakers already planning more coronavirus stimulus after T package Senate Democrats vow to keep pushing for more funds for mail-in voting MORE (R-Mo.) and House Minority Whip Steny HoyerSteny Hamilton HoyerDC argues it is shortchanged by coronavirus relief bill Lysol, disinfecting wipes and face masks mark coronavirus vote in House The Hill's 12:30 Report: House to vote on .2T stimulus after mad dash to Washington MORE (D-Md.). Agenda and full list of speakers:

12:15 p.m. EDT: President Trump has lunch with Defense Secretary James MattisJames Norman MattisIs coronavirus the final Trump crisis? Pentagon seeks to reconsider parts of B cloud contract given to Microsoft over Amazon Democrats press FEC pick to recuse himself from Trump matters MORE

1:30 p.m. EDT: First votes in the House. The House's schedule today:

1:45 p.m. EDT: President Trump meets with NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg and holds an expanded bilateral meeting.

2:15 p.m. EDT: The Senate votes on CIA Director nominee Gina HaspelThe Senate's schedule today:

4:15 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence meets with the General Secretary to the Nahdlatul Ulama Supreme Council, an Islamic Indonesian group.

5:45 p.m. EDT: Last votes in the House.

9:45 a.m. EDT Friday: The Atlantic Council is holding an event on Russia President Vladimir Putin's fourth term. Details:



12:30 p.m. EDT Thursday: Small Business Administration Administrator Linda McMahonLinda Marie McMahonSenate confirms Trump pick for small business chief On The Money: Senate chairman opposes cannabis banking bill | Panel advances Trump pick for Small Business Administration | Judge tosses NY state fraud charges against Manafort Senate panel advances Trump's nominee to lead Small Business Administration MORE speaks at a National Press Club event. Livestream:

1 p.m. EDT: White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders gives a press briefing. Livestream:

1 p.m. EDT: The Wilson Center is holding an event on the Iran nuclear deal. Livestream:

1 p.m. EDT: Members of President Trump's National Security Telecommunications Advisory Committee meet. White House livestream:



Today is National Walnut Day.


OK, real talk -- why are some people hearing Yanny and others are hearing Laurel?: 

Dana Boebinger, a PhD student at Harvard and MIT studying the neural basis of auditory perception, explained why people are hearing different words. The gist: "It has to do with which frequencies of the sound are actually making it to your brain. This can be affected by several things: headphones / speakers, listening volume, hearing loss..." Her full 7-tweet thread is worth reading:

INCLUDING THIS VIDEO -- IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER: It plays the audio clip at different frequencies so you can hear the difference. Listen -- I promise you will hear both words:


And because you read this far, here's a dog having a crazy dream. If he does regularly, he may develop muscle mass overnight...: