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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

 

 

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Rosenstein impeachment push divides GOP | Jordan to announce bid for Speaker | Trump, Cohen feud gets personal | More than 100 Cohen tapes reportedly seized | Trump avoids media due to 'bad weather' despite clear skies | Deadline today to reunite migrant families | Disney gets rid of plastic straws

 

LATEST IN THE MUELLER INVESTIGATION

Trump has 99 problems -- and one more:

​​Via The Washington Post's Philip Rucker, Carol D. Leonnig, Tom Hamburger and Ashley Parker, the government has seized more than 100 Trump-related tapes. Including: Conversations with President TrumpDonald John TrumpDavid Axelrod after Ginsburg cancer treatment: Supreme Court vacancy could 'tear this country apart' EU says it will 'respond in kind' if US slaps tariffs on France Ginsburg again leaves Supreme Court with an uncertain future MORE and discussions with people about Trump and his businesses. How Cohen recorded the conversations: "Cohen appeared to make some recordings with an iPhone -- without telling anyone he was taping them." Are there full discussions with Trump?: Not really. Little snippets of conversations, but yesterday's big audio release is the only full conversation between Cohen and Trump. https://wapo.st/2AdpXaP

HOW THE TRUMP-COHEN FEUD BECAME EXTREMELY PERSONAL SO QUICKLY: http://bit.ly/2LEq1Vq

 

It's Thursday -- the sun has finally emerged! I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com@CateMartel and on Facebook.

 

LATEST ON CAPITOL HILL

The 'I' word is the ultimate threat:

Via The Hill's Olivia Beavers, conservative Reps. Mark MeadowsMark Randall MeadowsTrump knocks news of CNN hiring ex-FBI official McCabe Ben Shapiro: No prominent GOP figure ever questioned Obama's legitimacy Trump finds consistent foil in 'Squad' MORE (R-N.C.), Jim JordanJames (Jim) Daniel JordanTrump knocks news of CNN hiring ex-FBI official McCabe Democratic Women's Caucus calls for investigation into Epstein plea deal DOJ releases notes from official Bruce Ohr's Russia probe interviews MORE (R-Ohio) and nine co-sponsors have introduced articles of impeachment against Deputy Attorney General Rod RosensteinRod Rosenstein10 declassified Russia collusion revelations that could rock Washington this fall Why the presumption of innocence doesn't apply to Trump McCabe sues FBI, DOJ, blames Trump for his firing MOREhttp://bit.ly/2uRS6z8

WHAT THE IMPEACHMENT ARTICLES ALLEGE: "They charge that Rosenstein has a conflict of interest in [special counsel Robert Mueller's] probe, stating that he is a 'witness' who could be called to testify in the ongoing investigation into potential surveillance abuse since he signed off on an FBI surveillance renewal application to wiretap Carter Page, a former adviser to the Trump campaign." http://bit.ly/2uRS6z8

 

Breaking from Paul RyanPaul Davis RyanUSCIS chief Cuccinelli blames Paul Ryan for immigration inaction Soaring deficits could put Trump in a corner if there's a recession Paul Ryan moving family to Washington MORE: Come onnnn:

Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) rejected the conservative push to impeach Rosenstein. From Ryan: "I don't think we should be cavalier with this process or this term," he said, referring to impeachment. "I don't think this rises to the level of high crimes and misdemeanors." http://bit.ly/2JYFoDv

REACTIONS FROM OTHER HOUSE REPUBLICANS: Majority Whip Steve ScaliseStephen (Steve) Joseph ScaliseManchin: Trump has 'golden opportunity' on gun reforms Sunday shows - Trump's Epstein conspiracy theory retweet grabs spotlight Sanders: Trump doesn't 'want to see somebody get shot' but 'creates the climate for it' MORE (R-La.) said he would vote in favor of impeachment; Majority Leader Kevin McCarthyKevin Owen McCarthySteve King defends remarks on rape, incest Omar says US should reconsider aid to Israel I'm not a Nazi, I'm just a dude: What it's like to be the other Steve King MORE(R-Calif.) would not say how he would vote. 

REACTION FROM DEMOCRATS: Statement from Reps. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), Elijah Cummings (D-Md.) and Adam SchiffAdam Bennett SchiffHillicon Valley: YouTube disables 200+ accounts over Hong Kong misinformation | Lawmakers sound alarm over Chinese influence efforts | DHS cyber agency details priorities | State AGs get tough on robocalls | DOJ busts online scammers Nadler asks other House chairs to provide records that would help panel in making impeachment decision YouTube disables over 200 accounts amid protests in Hong Kong MORE (D-Calif.): "It is a panicked and dangerous attempt to undermine an ongoing criminal investigation in an effort to protect President Trump as the walls are closing in around him and his associates." http://bit.ly/2uRS6z8

 

More news from Jim Jordan this morning:

This afternoon Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) will announce his run for House Speaker. Is this surprising?: Nah, Jordan has been floated as a possible replacement since Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) announced his upcoming retirement. Who else is interested in the speakership: House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) and House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La.).http://bit.ly/2v8CgiK

WHY IT'S NOT GREAT TIMING: "In recent weeks, Jordan's bid for Speaker has been hampered by allegations from former wrestlers at Ohio State University (OSU) claiming that Jordan turned a blind eye to reports of sexual abuse when he coached at the university." http://bit.ly/2v8CgiK

 

Some pretty funny quotes:

The Hill's Scott Wong and Melanie Zanona have an interesting piece about 10 dark horse candidates for speaker of the House. http://bit.ly/2LSEvxM

MY TWO FAVORITE QUOTES: Rep. Rob BishopRobert (Rob) William BishopNew Endangered Species Act rules provide clarity and enhance species health The House Republicans and Democrats not seeking reelection in 2020 Texas GOP lawmaker Conaway announces retirement MORE (R-Utah), chairman of the House Natural Resources Committee: "If I were running, the country would have to be in really, really bad shape," Bishop, who is known for his dry sense of humor, joked. He did acknowledge that some Republicans have tried to recruit him.

Rep. Kevin BradyKevin Patrick BradyRepublicans' rendezvous with reality — their plan is to cut Social Security The Social Security 2100 Act is critical for millennials and small business owners House panel releases documents of presidential tax return request before Trump MORE, chairman of the powerful Ways and Means Committee: "Just as The Hill asked whether Brady could be convinced to run for Speaker by his colleagues, Freedom Caucus Chairman Mark Meadows (R-N.C.), as if on cue, interrupted the interview to heap praise on Brady. 'He is the most brilliant man,' Meadows said as he walked by, prompting a laugh from Brady. 'If I had his intelligence and his looks, I'd be somebody.' " 

The full list of dark horse candidates for speaker: http://bit.ly/2LSEvxM

 

IN OTHER NEWS

We'll be telling our grandchildren about plastic straws and they will have no idea what we're talking about:

The Walt Disney Company is eliminating plastic straws and single-use stirrers from all of its locations. Timing: By mid-2019. https://abcn.ws/2JX6PND

TIDBIT -- SAY WHAAAT?: Santa Barbara passed an ordinance allowing big fines -- and possibly even jail time -- for violating the city's plastic straw ban. https://fxn.ws/2JXkKDI

 

Happening today -- it's the migrant children reunification deadline: 

Via The Texas Tribune, a federal judge ordered that all children who were separated from their families on the U.S.-Mexico border must be reunified by today. http://bit.ly/2LKJqnW

THE SITUATION: Children who have been reunified: "538 more parents have been cleared to be reunified with their children, meaning reunification is likely. All told, that's significant progress since the government's last update on Friday, when just 450 reunifications for the age group had taken place."

The current situation for children who haven't been reunified: "Still, the circumstances remain murky for more than 1,000 other parents. There are 217 parents squarely in the 'maybe' category because they have already been released into the United States, making them more difficult for government officials to locate." 

TODAY IN WASHINGTON: The "I am a child" march in Washington, D.C. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2AeDRti

 

We're excited, but let's not jinx anything:

Via The Hill's Reid Wilson and Lisa Hagen, "Almost 100 days before November's midterm elections, Democrats and Republicans are certain of one thing: An energized electorate across the country is poised to lead to a surge in turnout at the polls. But in a dynamic news atmosphere and with billions of dollars in candidate and outside spending yet to be spent, both parties are nervous about their own prospects, almost fearful of what is still to come." How each party is expecting this to play out: http://bit.ly/2OjbBZp

 

Today in awkward mishaps:

One of Education Secretary Betsy DeVosElizabeth (Betsy) Dee DeVosBlack Education Department employee's office allegedly vandalized College should profit students and taxpayers — even at for-profit schools On The Money: Trump, in reversal, says he's not looking at tax cuts | Trump calls himself 'chosen one' to fight China on trade | CBO finds spending deal to add .7T to deficit MORE's yachts became untied from a dock in Ohio and drifted into another dock, causing $5,000-10,000 in damage. Now what: Investigators are hoping surveillance footage will show who untied the boat. Details: http://bit.ly/2v9Q3ph

 

NOTABLE TWEETS

This is pretty interesting -- here's a detailed map of the 2016 electorate:

The full graphic: https://nyti.ms/2OhRLhb

 

Lol

 

Agreed, Leigh. AGREED.:

Ugh, why?: Video of the mayo ice cream: http://bit.ly/2mQ0T09

 

ON TAP

The House and Senate are in. President Trump is spending the day in Iowa and Illinois. Vice President Pence is spending the day in West Virginia. 

11:35 a.m. EDT: President Trump arrived in Peosta, Iowa. 

How Trump ducked the media this morning by claiming bad weather (the skies in D.C. are bright blue, by the way): http://bit.ly/2v6AO0k

1:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence leaves for Wheeling, W.Va.

3:20 p.m. EDT: President Trump tours Granite City Works -- Hot Strip Mill in Granite City, Ill.

5:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence participates in an National Republican Senatorial Committee event in West Virginia. He then heads back to Washington, D.C.

7:05 p.m. EDT: President Trump gets back to the White House.

  

WHAT TO WATCH

10 a.m. EDT: Vice President Pence speaks at the Ministerial to Advance Religious Freedom at the State Department.

12:30 p.m. EDT: President Trump participates in a roundtable in Peosta, Iowa. He then heads to Granite City, Ill. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2mQ54sR

3:15 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence speaks about tax cuts at an event in Wheeling, W.Va. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2mQ4F9P

3:40 p.m. EDT: President Trump delivers remarks on trade in Granite City, Ill. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2LReE9A

4:10 p.m. EDT: Secretary of State Mike PompeoMichael (Mike) Richard PompeoBill Maher says he's 'glad' David Koch is dead Trump spurs new wave of economic angst by escalating China fight Trump on North Korean projectile launches: Kim 'likes testing missiles' MORE is holding a news conference on religious freedom. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2LBtt33

  

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Chili Dog Day. It's also National Coffee Milkshake Day.

 

Too. Far.:

Via NBC's Maggie Fox, "A mind-controlling parasite found in cat feces may give people the courage they need to become entrepreneurs, researchers reported Tuesday. They found that people who have been infected with the Toxoplasma gondii parasite are more likely to major in business and to have started their own businesses than non-infected people." https://nbcnews.to/2OiCU60

 

And because you made it to the end, here's a fully-grown golden retriever who is too scared to take the escalator. His owner's reaction is pretty great: http://bit.ly/2v4eKUf