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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

 

 

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Rosenstein impeachment push divides GOP | Jordan to announce bid for Speaker | Trump, Cohen feud gets personal | More than 100 Cohen tapes reportedly seized | Trump avoids media due to 'bad weather' despite clear skies | Deadline today to reunite migrant families | Disney gets rid of plastic straws

 

LATEST IN THE MUELLER INVESTIGATION

Trump has 99 problems -- and one more:

​​Via The Washington Post's Philip Rucker, Carol D. Leonnig, Tom Hamburger and Ashley Parker, the government has seized more than 100 Trump-related tapes. Including: Conversations with President TrumpDonald John TrumpSchiff urges GOP colleagues to share private concerns about Trump publicly US-China trade talks draw criticism for lack of women in pictures Overnight Defense: Trump to leave 200 troops in Syria | Trump, Kim plan one-on-one meeting | Pentagon asks DHS to justify moving funds for border wall MORE and discussions with people about Trump and his businesses. How Cohen recorded the conversations: "Cohen appeared to make some recordings with an iPhone -- without telling anyone he was taping them." Are there full discussions with Trump?: Not really. Little snippets of conversations, but yesterday's big audio release is the only full conversation between Cohen and Trump. https://wapo.st/2AdpXaP

HOW THE TRUMP-COHEN FEUD BECAME EXTREMELY PERSONAL SO QUICKLY: http://bit.ly/2LEq1Vq

 

It's Thursday -- the sun has finally emerged! I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com@CateMartel and on Facebook.

 

LATEST ON CAPITOL HILL

The 'I' word is the ultimate threat:

Via The Hill's Olivia Beavers, conservative Reps. Mark MeadowsMark Randall MeadowsFive takeaways from McCabe’s allegations against Trump The Hill's Morning Report — Presented by the American Academy of HIV Medicine — Trump, Congress prepare for new border wall fight Winners and losers in the border security deal MORE (R-N.C.), Jim JordanJames (Jim) Daniel JordanFive takeaways from McCabe’s allegations against Trump Jordan says Oversight should be more focused on McCabe, Rosenstein ahead of Cohen testimony White House, GOP defend Trump emergency declaration MORE (R-Ohio) and nine co-sponsors have introduced articles of impeachment against Deputy Attorney General Rod RosensteinRod Jay RosensteinEx-Trump aide: Can’t imagine Mueller not giving House a ‘roadmap’ to impeachment Rosenstein: My time at DOJ is 'coming to an end' Five takeaways from McCabe’s allegations against Trump MOREhttp://bit.ly/2uRS6z8

WHAT THE IMPEACHMENT ARTICLES ALLEGE: "They charge that Rosenstein has a conflict of interest in [special counsel Robert Mueller's] probe, stating that he is a 'witness' who could be called to testify in the ongoing investigation into potential surveillance abuse since he signed off on an FBI surveillance renewal application to wiretap Carter Page, a former adviser to the Trump campaign." http://bit.ly/2uRS6z8

 

Breaking from Paul RyanPaul Davis RyanFive takeaways from McCabe’s allegations against Trump The Hill's 12:30 Report: Sanders set to shake up 2020 race McCabe: No one in 'Gang of Eight' objected to FBI probe into Trump MORE: Come onnnn:

Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) rejected the conservative push to impeach Rosenstein. From Ryan: "I don't think we should be cavalier with this process or this term," he said, referring to impeachment. "I don't think this rises to the level of high crimes and misdemeanors." http://bit.ly/2JYFoDv

REACTIONS FROM OTHER HOUSE REPUBLICANS: Majority Whip Steve ScaliseStephen (Steve) Joseph ScaliseOn unilateral executive action, Mitch McConnell was right — in 2014 Texas man with politician hit list, illegally 3D printed rifle sentenced to eight years The Hill's Morning Report - Presented by the American Academy of HIV Medicine - Will there be any last-minute shutdown drama? MORE (R-La.) said he would vote in favor of impeachment; Majority Leader Kevin McCarthyKevin Owen McCarthySteve King spins GOP punishment into political weapon Steve King asks for Congressional Record correction over white supremacist quote Steve King urges supporters to pray for his committee assignments to be restored: report MORE(R-Calif.) would not say how he would vote. 

REACTION FROM DEMOCRATS: Statement from Reps. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), Elijah Cummings (D-Md.) and Adam SchiffAdam Bennett SchiffSchiff urges GOP colleagues to share private concerns about Trump publicly Overnight Defense: Trump to leave 200 troops in Syria | Trump, Kim plan one-on-one meeting | Pentagon asks DHS to justify moving funds for border wall White House braces for Mueller report MORE (D-Calif.): "It is a panicked and dangerous attempt to undermine an ongoing criminal investigation in an effort to protect President Trump as the walls are closing in around him and his associates." http://bit.ly/2uRS6z8

 

More news from Jim Jordan this morning:

This afternoon Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) will announce his run for House Speaker. Is this surprising?: Nah, Jordan has been floated as a possible replacement since Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) announced his upcoming retirement. Who else is interested in the speakership: House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) and House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La.).http://bit.ly/2v8CgiK

WHY IT'S NOT GREAT TIMING: "In recent weeks, Jordan's bid for Speaker has been hampered by allegations from former wrestlers at Ohio State University (OSU) claiming that Jordan turned a blind eye to reports of sexual abuse when he coached at the university." http://bit.ly/2v8CgiK

 

Some pretty funny quotes:

The Hill's Scott Wong and Melanie Zanona have an interesting piece about 10 dark horse candidates for speaker of the House. http://bit.ly/2LSEvxM

MY TWO FAVORITE QUOTES: Rep. Rob BishopRobert (Rob) William BishopSenate votes to extend key funding mechanism for parks Republicans push back at first climate hearings Climate change on front burner after 8 years of GOP rule MORE (R-Utah), chairman of the House Natural Resources Committee: "If I were running, the country would have to be in really, really bad shape," Bishop, who is known for his dry sense of humor, joked. He did acknowledge that some Republicans have tried to recruit him.

Rep. Kevin BradyKevin Patrick BradySmaller tax refunds put GOP on defensive Key author of GOP tax law joins Ernst and Young Lawmakers beat lobbyists at charity hockey game MORE, chairman of the powerful Ways and Means Committee: "Just as The Hill asked whether Brady could be convinced to run for Speaker by his colleagues, Freedom Caucus Chairman Mark Meadows (R-N.C.), as if on cue, interrupted the interview to heap praise on Brady. 'He is the most brilliant man,' Meadows said as he walked by, prompting a laugh from Brady. 'If I had his intelligence and his looks, I'd be somebody.' " 

The full list of dark horse candidates for speaker: http://bit.ly/2LSEvxM

 

IN OTHER NEWS

We'll be telling our grandchildren about plastic straws and they will have no idea what we're talking about:

The Walt Disney Company is eliminating plastic straws and single-use stirrers from all of its locations. Timing: By mid-2019. https://abcn.ws/2JX6PND

TIDBIT -- SAY WHAAAT?: Santa Barbara passed an ordinance allowing big fines -- and possibly even jail time -- for violating the city's plastic straw ban. https://fxn.ws/2JXkKDI

 

Happening today -- it's the migrant children reunification deadline: 

Via The Texas Tribune, a federal judge ordered that all children who were separated from their families on the U.S.-Mexico border must be reunified by today. http://bit.ly/2LKJqnW

THE SITUATION: Children who have been reunified: "538 more parents have been cleared to be reunified with their children, meaning reunification is likely. All told, that's significant progress since the government's last update on Friday, when just 450 reunifications for the age group had taken place."

The current situation for children who haven't been reunified: "Still, the circumstances remain murky for more than 1,000 other parents. There are 217 parents squarely in the 'maybe' category because they have already been released into the United States, making them more difficult for government officials to locate." 

TODAY IN WASHINGTON: The "I am a child" march in Washington, D.C. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2AeDRti

 

We're excited, but let's not jinx anything:

Via The Hill's Reid Wilson and Lisa Hagen, "Almost 100 days before November's midterm elections, Democrats and Republicans are certain of one thing: An energized electorate across the country is poised to lead to a surge in turnout at the polls. But in a dynamic news atmosphere and with billions of dollars in candidate and outside spending yet to be spent, both parties are nervous about their own prospects, almost fearful of what is still to come." How each party is expecting this to play out: http://bit.ly/2OjbBZp

 

Today in awkward mishaps:

One of Education Secretary Betsy DeVosElizabeth (Betsy) Dee DeVosStudents call on DeVos to offer free tampons, pads in schools to address 'period poverty' DeVos recovering from broken pelvis, hip socket after bicycle accident Student veterans deserve better than the DeVos agenda MORE's yachts became untied from a dock in Ohio and drifted into another dock, causing $5,000-10,000 in damage. Now what: Investigators are hoping surveillance footage will show who untied the boat. Details: http://bit.ly/2v9Q3ph

 

NOTABLE TWEETS

This is pretty interesting -- here's a detailed map of the 2016 electorate:

The full graphic: https://nyti.ms/2OhRLhb

 

Lol

 

Agreed, Leigh. AGREED.:

Ugh, why?: Video of the mayo ice cream: http://bit.ly/2mQ0T09

 

ON TAP

The House and Senate are in. President Trump is spending the day in Iowa and Illinois. Vice President Pence is spending the day in West Virginia. 

11:35 a.m. EDT: President Trump arrived in Peosta, Iowa. 

How Trump ducked the media this morning by claiming bad weather (the skies in D.C. are bright blue, by the way): http://bit.ly/2v6AO0k

1:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence leaves for Wheeling, W.Va.

3:20 p.m. EDT: President Trump tours Granite City Works -- Hot Strip Mill in Granite City, Ill.

5:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence participates in an National Republican Senatorial Committee event in West Virginia. He then heads back to Washington, D.C.

7:05 p.m. EDT: President Trump gets back to the White House.

  

WHAT TO WATCH

10 a.m. EDT: Vice President Pence speaks at the Ministerial to Advance Religious Freedom at the State Department.

12:30 p.m. EDT: President Trump participates in a roundtable in Peosta, Iowa. He then heads to Granite City, Ill. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2mQ54sR

3:15 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence speaks about tax cuts at an event in Wheeling, W.Va. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2mQ4F9P

3:40 p.m. EDT: President Trump delivers remarks on trade in Granite City, Ill. Livestream: http://bit.ly/2LReE9A

4:10 p.m. EDT: Secretary of State Mike PompeoMichael (Mike) Richard PompeoOvernight Defense: Trump to leave 200 troops in Syria | Trump, Kim plan one-on-one meeting | Pentagon asks DHS to justify moving funds for border wall Dems demand briefing, intel on North Korea nuclear talks Pompeo: US will not share information with countries using Huawei systems MORE is holding a news conference on religious freedom. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2LBtt33

  

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Chili Dog Day. It's also National Coffee Milkshake Day.

 

Too. Far.:

Via NBC's Maggie Fox, "A mind-controlling parasite found in cat feces may give people the courage they need to become entrepreneurs, researchers reported Tuesday. They found that people who have been infected with the Toxoplasma gondii parasite are more likely to major in business and to have started their own businesses than non-infected people." https://nbcnews.to/2OiCU60

 

And because you made it to the end, here's a fully-grown golden retriever who is too scared to take the escalator. His owner's reaction is pretty great: http://bit.ly/2v4eKUf