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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*
*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.
The Hill’s 12:30 Report: Big Ten resumes season on Oct. 24 | Officials waved red flags before Trump Tulsa rally | Pence: Fla., Ariz. key to Trump’s reelection | Mich., Pa., Wis. election results could be delayed | Biden plays ‘Despacito’ on his phone during remarks | Hurricane Sally makes landfall | National Guacamole Day deals
NEWS THIS MORNING
The Big Ten is back, baby:

Via CBS Sports’s Ben Kercheval, The Big Ten football conference has voted to resume football games on Oct. 24. https://bit.ly/3mmkAdr
How the season will run: “The Big Ten will open its season on the weekend of Oct. 24 with teams playing eight regular-season games over eight weeks along with a Big Ten Championship Game and six additional consolation games. The Big Ten Championship Game is scheduled for Dec. 19 ...”
The COVID-19 precautions: “Tickets will not be sold and fans will not be allowed to attend games this season, though exceptions may be made for families of athletes, coaches and staff. The conference will now feature daily, rapid COVID-19 testing as a focal point of its return to play plan. Testing for athletes and coaches will begin on Sept. 30.”
Everything we know: https://bit.ly/3mmkAdr
President TrumpDonald TrumpSouth Carolina Senate adds firing squad as alternative execution method Ex-Trump aide Pierson won't run for Dallas-area House seat House Oversight panel reissues subpoena for Trump's accounting firm MORE REACTED ON TWITTER:
The president tweeted, “Great News: BIG TEN FOOTBALL IS BACK. All teams to participate. Thank you to the players, coaches, parents, and all school representatives. Have a FANTASTIC SEASON! It is my great honor to have helped!!!” https://bit.ly/2RvGFrR
Step into our office:
Via The Hill’s Jordain Carney, “Republicans on the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee voted on Wednesday to greenlight subpoenas and depositions as part of an investigation into the FBI’s Russia probe and the Obama administration.” https://bit.ly/2FMM76I
Details: “The 8-6 party line vote authorizes Sen. Ron JohnsonRonald (Ron) Harold JohnsonJuan Williams: Hypocrisy runs riot in GOP Graham: Trump will 'be helpful' to all Senate GOP incumbents Partisan headwinds threaten Capitol riot commission MORE (R-Wis.), the chairman of the committee, to issue a combination of subpoenas and set up closed-door depositions with approximately 40 individuals.”
It’s Wednesday! I’m Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what’s coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com — and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.
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PROGRAMMING NOTE: I will be off until Tuesday. The Hill’s Alicia Cohn will be writing the 12:30 Report while I’m gone. Send tips to acohn@thehill.com!
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LATEST WITH THE STORMS
Sally, can you, like, *not*, right now?:
Hurricane Sally made landfall early this morning near Gulf Shores, Ala. https://bit.ly/33CvrY7
What’s happening: “Bands of heavy rain and strong winds are affecting the northern Gulf Coast right now, particularly in parts of the Florida Panhandle and southern Alabama … More than 400,000 homes and businesses have lost power in southern Alabama and the Florida Panhandle … Significant flash flooding with flooded roads and homes has also occurred in numerous spots from southeast Alabama into the western Florida Panhandle.”
The storm’s forecast from The Weather Channel: https://bit.ly/33CvrY7
Sally, Paulette, Rene, Teddy and Vicky sound like quite the crew:
This tweet has more than 164k likes so far.

Hyperlink https://bit.ly/2FD6cwF
IN THE WHITE HOUSE
Exclusive — officials were not groovy with Trump’s massive indoor Tulsa rally:
Via The Hill’s Bob CusackRobert (Bob) CusackTrump legal switch hints at larger problems The Hill's Morning Report - President Biden, Vice President Harris begin work today Incoming lawmakers stress coronavirus relief, economy as first priority of new session MORE, “Oklahoma health officials raised red flags before President Trump’s indoor rally in June, warning there could be significant spikes of coronavirus cases and deaths from the event, according to internal state documents.” https://bit.ly/2ZGcdzK
How we know: “Dozens of emails obtained by The Hill through a state freedom of information request reveal growing angst within the Oklahoma public health department in the days leading up to the June 20 rally.”
For example — Oklahoma State Department of Health’s epidemiologist Aaron Wendelboe sent an email: “I am concerned that the mass indoor gathering in Tulsa of 19,000 people will directly lead to deaths in Oklahoma. As the state epidemiologist, I feel I have a responsibility to speak out and warn of the estimated risk.”
Keep in mind about the rally: Former Republican presidential candidate Herman CainHerman Cain'Trumpification' of the GOP will persist 'SNL' host Dave Chappelle urges Biden voters to be 'humble' winners 18 Trump rallies have led to 30,000 COVID-19 cases: Stanford University study MORE attended the rally, did not wear a mask and died from COVID-19 complications a few weeks later at the age of 74.
The full report: https://bit.ly/2ZGcdzK
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL
The keys to Trump’s reelection — Florida, Minnesota and Arizona:
In an exclusive interview with The Hill’s Brett Samuels aboard Air Force Two, Vice President Pence said the Trump campaign is focused on winning Florida and Arizona in order to secure 270 electoral votes. https://bit.ly/3mtl7u8
In Pence’s words: “Florida’s of great importance. Arizona’s of great importance. We’re going to make sure we continue to campaign in those states … We’re actually looking at expanding the map now. I’ve been campaigning in Minnesota. So has the president … We think Minnesota is in play.”
This is important (!) — why Florida is huge: “Without winning Florida’s 29 electoral votes or expanding the map by winning a state won by Democratic presidential nominee Hillary ClintonHillary Diane Rodham ClintonClintons remember former adviser Vernon Jordan Biden praises Vernon Jordan: He 'knew the soul of America' The parts of H.R. 1 you haven't heard about MORE in 2016, the Trump-Pence ticket would likely have to sweep Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Arizona and North Carolina to get to 270 electoral votes.”
INTERESTING READ — ‘THE MEDIA LEARNED NOTHING FROM 2016:
Via The Atlantic’s James Fallows, “The press hasn’t broken its most destructive habits when it comes to covering Donald Trump.” https://bit.ly/35DKqnj
“Many of our most influential editors and reporters are acting as if the rules that prevailed under previous American presidents are still in effect. But this president is different; the rules are different; and if it doesn’t adapt, fast, the press will stand as yet another institution that failed in a moment of crucial pressure.” https://bit.ly/35DKqnj
Mentally prepare yourself — mail-in voting may slow down the results in a few *key* states:
Via Politico’s Zach Montellaro, “Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin decided the 2016 election. We’ll have to wait on them in 2020.” https://politi.co/3mr15jH
Why: “Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin are expecting huge surges in ballots cast by mail in 2020 … all three Midwestern battlegrounds, which President Donald Trump flipped in 2016 to win the White House after years of Democratic presidential victories there, are among the states where local election officials are not allowed to start processing mail ballots until Election Day, according to a POLITICO review of election rules in 13 key states.”
Full explanation: https://politi.co/3mr15jH
We support updated internet regulations.
We support new regulations that hold companies, including Facebook, accountable on issues including:
— Combating foreign election interference
— Protecting people's privacy
— Enabling safe and easy data transfer between platforms
Read why we support updated internet regulations
LATEST WITH THE CORONAVIRUS
Coronavirus cases in the U.S.: 6,609,770
U.S. death toll: 196,023
Breakdown of the numbers: https://cnn.it/2UAgW3y
For context: Five months ago today, 640,014 Americans had tested positive for the coronavirus and 31,002 had died. https://bit.ly/3c4dK7r
FEDERAL OFFICIALS UNVEIL PLAN TO PROVIDE FREE CORONAVIRUS VACCINE:
NOTABLE TWEETS:
Lol, this is pretty funny:

Hyperlink https://bit.ly/2RAvjm4
If you missed the news about the planet Venus: Astronomers have found phosphine on Venus, a molecule that is found primarily in living microorganisms. Details from CBS News’s William Harwood: https://cbsn.ws/3hAUPm1
Oh.:

Watch: https://bit.ly/32CQdro
ON TAP:
The House and Senate are in. President Trump is in Washington, D.C. Vice President is also in D.C., but is heading to Ohio this afternoon.
11:30 a.m. EDT: The Senate holds votes three roll call votes on nominations.
Noon: Vice President Pence speaks at the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) battleground luncheon in Washington, D.C. Note: This is closed to press.
12:30 p.m. EDT: President Trump participates in a “High Holy Days Call with Jewish leaders.”
1:30 p.m. EDT: President Trump has lunch with Vice President Pence.
2 – 4 p.m. EDT: First and last votes in the House. The House’s full agenda today: https://bit.ly/3kolWCq
3:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence leaves for Zanesville, Ohio.
3:30 p.m. EDT: More roll call votes in the Senate. The Senate’s full agenda today: https://bit.ly/2FCTw9d
5:30 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence speaks at a Workers for Trump event in Zanesville.
7 p.m. EDT: President Trump speaks at a National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) battleground dinner at the Capitol Hill Club in Washington, D.C.
8:45 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence arrives in Washington, D.C.
WHAT TO WATCH:
1 p.m. EDT: White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany holds a press briefing. Livestream: https://bit.ly/2ZIzSj3
1 p.m. EDT: The Hill is hosting a virtual event, “Powering America's Economy With AI.” Livestream: https://bit.ly/3iHYaBe
2:30 p.m. EDT: A Senate subcommittee hearing on the wildfires. Livestream: https://cs.pn/3kom9We
NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...:
Today is National Guacamole Day!
Because it is a day worth celebrating!:
Here’s a list of National Guacamole Day specials today: https://fxn.ws/35I2892
And because you made it this far, here’s a large group of duck friends. And I mean a LARGE group: https://bit.ly/3hJKZyp