Rand Paul knocks omnibus bill with ”Twas the Night Before Christmas’ rewrite
Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) is taking a Christmas-themed poetic swing at the omnibus spending bill.
The Kentucky Republican unveiled his own version of “’Twas the Night Before Christmas” on Tuesday as the $1.7 trillion government funding bill was released.
“’Twas the week before Christmas, and through the Senate and House, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The earmarks were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there,” Paul, sporting a red blazer in front of an image of a Christmas tree, said into the camera.
“The senators were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of pork danced in their heads,” Paul continued.
“No budget was found, just mischief and debt. While the taxpayers hung their poor heads and wept,” the lawmaker said.
In Paul’s version of the 19th-century poem, St. Nick shouted out Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) along with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and President Biden.
“Now, McConnell! Now, Schumer! Now, Pelosi and Vixen! On Biden! On Stupid! On Dumber and Blitzen! To debt! To bankruptcy! To free money for all! Now dash, dash away, more cash for all!” he said.
“This spending season, instead of naughty and nice, Santa brought everyone something regardless of price,” Paul said.
“And don’t forget a delicious candy cane, sweet with $40 billion to tide over Ukraine. Because of the climate, it’s not PC to leave coal. No one seems to care, because we’re trillions in the hole.” he added.
“Don’t worry about leaving the budget a mess. Democrats have given you 87,000 agents of the IRS,” Paul said before wrapping up his Christmastime criticism.
“But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, ‘Happy bankruptcy to all, and to all a good night,'” he said.
A so-called disclaimer following Paul’s rhyme further knocked the funding package, made up of the 12 annual appropriations bills, saying the Santa Claus the senator described “has absolutely no relation to the magical St. Nick.”
“This Claus is that non-fiction Grinch of congressional creation,” the message said.
It’s not the first time that Paul has taken to verse and gotten political with his poetry. In 2014, he recited a poem before a crowd at the Fancy Farm Picnic about then-Kentucky Senate candidate Alison Lundergan Grimes (D). Two years later, at the same event in the Bluegrass State, Paul debuted another poem aimed at 2016 Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.
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